Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My husband and I are both on your second marriage. We have been together since early 2018. I have a son, who is 5.
Im not sure what the right answer is here. Every time my husband and I argue, which isn't often, once every few months maybe.
Every time we argue, he automatically says "you know what I'm done with your shit and I'm done with this". Then will make comments about him kicking me and my son out or him looking or another place. Then might apologize later or just plain act like everything is fine.
This happened this week when I got Upset he left my son's archery target outside and the dugs chewed it up. He has a bad habit of just leaving things out wherever and waiting for anyone else to pick them up.
I do have depression/anxiety issues. I was also not brought up in the most "let's talk about your emotions" home. It was more of suck it up, stop crying, and shut up". So I don't deal with emotions well or haven't ever. I know I push them down and push forward, which isn't ideal. I'm starting to think, outside of my son, it's impossible for me to feel an attachment of love. How can I be so successful professionally but struggle so much in my personal life??
second divorce??? Is it me??
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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I'm sorry you are going through this.
Has he always had such anger issues? Or did he start being this way for some reason that you can think of (drinking, drugs, etc)?
It is never right of him to verbally abuse you. And to threaten to leave every other second is very destructive to you and to your marriage. And like you said, you do not want your son witnessing any of the horrible things he is saying/yelling.
Apologies mean nothing if he turns around and just does it again.
He needs professional help. Please set up a counseling appointment for the two of you (since I doubt he will go on his own).
Look up the term "gaslighting".
Please please hold off on trying to get pregnant for now.
None of this is your fault. He has some intense anger issues that he has to fix. It is all on him to fix this. You can not change him. He has to want to change, and he has to go to professional therapy. You can talk till you're blue in the face, but he won't listen to you.
Set up a counseling appointment. Try to stay away from him as much as it is possible in the house, and definitely keep your son away from him as much as possible. Do things with just your son, outside the house. The more you two are around your husband, the more verbal abuse he will spew out and you do NOT have to put up with this or listen to any of his garbage. He is being a bully and you do not deserve any of this or have to listen to any of it. If he gets on a verbal rant, take your son and leave the house, even for a little while. Get away from the situation as much as possible. This kind of abuse will cause long term damage to you and your son.
And do NOT believe any of the mean things he is saying! This is all on him. He is the one that has psychological issues. Not you.
I am looking into marriage counseling for us. I appreciate your comments and suggestions.
Rarely drinks. His friends and family are 7 plus hours away and I know that’s hard on him.
I am going to try for marriage counseling. If not, I’ll consider going myself.
You can approach your husband to see how he feels about marriage counseling. My sneaking suspicion is he won't bother. Not initially, anyway. If he opts out, you need to get yourself into counseling with a focus on how to speak up without angering him any farther. At the very least, you'll have a safe sounding board to air your grievances and maybe get some positive reinforcement or feedback in return.