Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Missing you blaming me

Tfvol7
Tfvol7

This is my first time here.  Looks like we can just share a story.  My 6 year relationship is ending.  She still wants to be friends because apparently my friendship is extremely important, she still tells me she loves me, but when it comes to a relationship she says it's too late for me to change and she doesn't want to try again.  I can't help but think about the past and blame myself.  So many things I could've done different. My whole house, everything reminds me of her.  She still has her belongings here.  The worst part is now she's spending all her time with a guy that the person she was a year ago would've never dealt with.  My life is a wreck and feels meaningless.  

Pri
Pri
Tfvol7,
I am sorry you are going through this.

What would you like to do that would be helpful to you?
Tfvol7
Tfvol7
Good question. I wish i had an answer. I don't find joy in anything that I used to. She called me yesterday evening. She was completely drunk. She bought a kitten with this new guy and started crying that it was suppose to be me and her getting a pet together and that she hated me for it not happening. But if it were my choice we'd be together right now. All i ever tried to do was make her happy.
JeffK
JeffK
Hey, I am in the same situation as you. I'm not sure how old you are or how long you were married, but I am 69 and was married for 38 years. My wife moved in with her daughter, who has never liked me. Now I want to change for her, but she won't let me and doesn't trust that I will change. I raise my voice when I get excited (angry) and am too negative about some things. I blame myself for not trying to change sooner. I feel like my entire life with her has been wasted, except for our son. I loved her so much, I did not bother to cultivate friends - I just did everything with her. I think you will get some good ideas and support here. So far I have, and it has only been 4 days.
Tfvol7
Tfvol7
Yes it does sound like similar situations. I've always been an introverted person so I never had a huge circle of close friends. She was my best friend so I directed my entire life towards her. I've gone from seeing and speaking to her 24/7 to hardly any contact and sometimes drunken angry phone calls. I know I took her for granted, and she hasn't been in a great place and maybe I didn't help her enough. I'd give anything to have our life back.
kenfused
kenfused
I worry this is happening to me too. I’ve been married 4.5 years.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Pamela DS is an anonymous site and it's meant to be anonymous
People talk on the site and boards while they get to know one another
You can make great friends while on here
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug Tfvol...would you guys be willing to try some therapy together?
If she's calling you even when inebriated it sounds like this isn't finished?
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