Fuck you. Feel better now?

i would like to ask. do you feel that way toward you mom? no disrepect.
just somting to think about.

I don't understand how can you hate all women...doesn't make any sense to me. I mean if one women did you wrong you hate all women? I think the therapist is your best bet!

I don't know your circumstances, but I'd say it was a defense mechanism you're going through. My own feelings of grief and despair are not so easily forgotten, so I can understand your hesitation to trust anyone at this point.

However, at some point in time you're going to see that just as many women have been hurt by their partners as we have, and there are many here who are willing to help you through this. I've been so lucky, and blessed, to meet some seriously wonderful people here.

We're all here to heal. Just give it a chance.

Clerk?

I don't think its a question of being "avoidable" or not. You either are a misogynist or not. You say you are.

Counseling is your only option here. Without it you are in serious trouble and are doomed to misery. It must be a horrible to be carrying around such hatred.

Johnnys question is interesting. Id like to know the answer to that. Do yo have daughters?

This is so curious to me, because I've been hurt like many here, but I do not hold one entire group of individuals responsible for it.

Good luck with the counseling. I'm not one to go around telling people to get therapy, but I believe it will help you. Best wishes (((hugs))))

I was just thinking of an incident that happened to me the other day. I walked my dog to the local 711 to get some coffee.

Some man who was obviously having a bad day was preparing his coffee with about 7 of us, ranting about how the lids didn't fit the 16 oz size, and was losing it big time. He looked at the employee wiping up and said "listen sister, I have to get to work, help me out here" with as much contempt as he could muster, then he turned to me and Started ranting. When I ignored him and went about my business, he turned to the other customers and said " yeah, that's right, she thinks she's too good to talk to me..." bla blah blah.
Another man there yelled at him and said "hey, don't disrespect her", and tthe maniac promptly picked uphis coffee and left.

I'm SURE you don't want to be like that whack a doodle, standing there in his suit with a chip on his shoulder. I wonder how he functions in the business world.

He didn't appear to be a drug addict, just an a**hole, but what do I know. Lol

If you have just been hurt by the woman you love - you may turn on all women for a while. If you are still feeling like that in a year or two I would seriously get some help for it.

I posted this because I wanted strategies and ideas as to why I was feeling this way, primarily because this was something I had never experienced in any previous breakup, and am not interested in becoming hateful and bitter on a permanent basis. More to the point, I don't want it to affect my current relationships, positive and otherwise, with women--family, friends and co-workers.

Jonny, you asked about my Mom. Actually, that's the primary person I was thinking of. I hate the idea of this breakup affecting our relationship.

Imperfect, I'm not sure why I've had this strange reaction either. I wanted to see if anyone else felt this way. I guess I should have expanded the question/wording of the post to include misandry as well, considering the negative reaction.

Bob's answer is something I was hoping for, that I'm not alone, and it does go away. Same with you, Lucille, I'm also hoping this is something reactive and defensive.

Awesome, it is horrible carrying it around, both physically and emotionally. I do not like being angry, and I'm slowly finding an outlet for it (thanks to my previous posting). I thought the 7-11 story was spot on, and gives me some perspective.

However, I am not a coke addict or an asshole. I'm working this out. If I articulated the problem poorly, then I own that. I came to this board to seek support on the advice of a co-worker, who used it after his divorce. I didn't feel like I was out of line in asking for help, advice or perspective. If I was, I will move on to another source.

Thanks to those who were constructive, I appreciate it, and it actually helped. And Anne, after your initial post, I didn't feel better.

You're obviously not an asshole, because you're owning the fact that its a problem, and not saying its "their" fault. I'm sorry we weren't able to offer more assistance, and for myself all I could do is admit I don't understand it and suggest a trained professional.

Best wishes to you:)

And listen, we're all hurt, disillusioned and angry when our lives are devastated. When we get to the point where we're leaking it out on everything, everyone, or a particular group of people, we need help finding out why. Good for you for seeking assistance.:)

I have to say, I'm not feeling real nice to men right now either. I think its a stage? Easy to lump all your hurts onto the whole gender. I think it goes away. But therapy wouldn't hurt in case it sticks.

Cleric,

As far as I know we are not professional on this forum, Most folks try to offer help from their own experience -- it may or may not help but just keep coming from support. I definitely can see you are angry and I think that is very normal. I'm glad you have an appointment with a therapist. These folks are professionally trained to help people in pain. I'm going to sound like a broken record because I've said this many times on this forum. Give yourself time for time does heal most broken hearts. If you are angry and also very depressed then maybe see a doctor who can prescribe an anti-depressant or/and anti-anxiety meds may help as well. However, be careful with medication -- sometimes it can make a situation worse especially if you have undiagnosed mental health issues such as bipolar disorder.

For sure you are not alone in your feelings, there are many others who have the feelings of hatred towards the opposite sex. It is a good idea to discuss it with a therapist that can help you work through these feelings because as you said you don't want to be a bitter hateful person. My brother's wife has hated all men since she was a little girl, she never dealt with her feelings and she is the most bitter person you could ever meet. I don't even understand why she got married, but her feelings are so deep that when my son was born she said something nasty! Imagine having a new born baby and someone saying "Oh great another stupid male".
I have been hurt very badly by 3 different men in my life, I don't hate men in general though. I do however understand where your thoughts and feelings come from, I know there has to be good men out there, they can't all be abusive users can they? We have to keep in mind that it's individuals that have hurt us, not the entire opposite sex. It's really up to you to decide if you want to let this thing become a core belief or not, if you don't find some one to help you work it out, it is possible you will carry these feelings for a long long time. You are only 36, do you really want to spend the rest of your life hating women? Aren't you eventually going to miss how good we smell lol. Plus it's good to remember that it's really only yourself that you will be hurting. You don't know me, you can hate me if ya want to, it won't make a difference in my life, sad for you though because like me there are many great women out there and you'd be missing out on so much. Hope you start feeling better soon.