Yep that's how I healed reflected on the positives....letting go of bitterness, resentment, hurt, anger, frustration, all those things helped in my healing....

however rman it took a long time....be prepared for that..... :)

take care. :)

I don't like that you said, "it took a long time." I don't really have the time for that shit right now. Thanks for the heads up, though. Glad you are over all this...

A book that really helped me was "The Midful Way Through Depression"... The mindful method means really focusing on what is going on around you in the moment.. focusing on the smell of shampoo as you wash your hair or feeling the texture of your food as you eat it. Sounds pretty simple & it is but it helped me. A really big help for me was turning off the radio while driving & really focusing on the beauty around me. I still do that one.
I also receive "Thought For Today" emails & this was one that I printed & posted over my desk...

Let Go Of Emotions...
Emotions can feel uncontrollable. We have no choice but to experience them. But to live by our emotions is to live under a tyrant's rule. Acknowledge emotions for what they are, without shame or guilt, and then allow them to pass through you like wind moving through the leaves of a tree. Remember that it is only with your permission that feelings can change the way you behave.

This really helped during the anger & hate stage...

Rman - I really like Pam's post = totally real and I hope it helps you,

Lynne

see thats one way i feel differently about it..

i dont think its possible in the beginning to let go of the hurt the anger ect..in the beginning you cant let it go..its there..where as i believe you learn to go thru it.
you learn to live with the pit in your stomach and the pain in your heart.

think of yourself as a toddler..they learn to walk..but dammit think of all the falls and all the bumps BUT they keep getting up and trying..they have bruises and cuts ect..but they keep going..why? when it would be so easy to wait for someone to pick them up..but again why?
cause they want to walk

just like we want to go on living and be happy again.

giggling

i always liked this for the anger stage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNCBxf9Goew

But the mindful method makes the bumps & bruises a little easier. Nothing but time will make the pain go away...but everyone needs to find ways to cope with that in a healthy way.

healthy smealthy - i broke things

i know how you feel Rman, right now in my mind ,nothing seems to matter,,,;(

I can tell you what Pam is talking about...It's about breathing techniques. Breathing helps. Deep breathing...am I spelling 'breathing' correctly?

lol.. well, that can be considered healthy as well as long as those "things" weren't directly attached to any living being.. ;)

Julie is right that it takes time. For me it was a long time, replacing that voice in my head that had been there for 19 years. and it took retraining my mind. Being positive is definitely a choice though and one you can make and implement. I did long ago and it has carried me through some rough paths, to where I am today. ((Rman))

Survivable's positive thoughts have helped me A LOT...(Might not seem like it a whole lot...but I haven't gone "postal" so it's ALL good! lol) I get them daily and read them. She is an amazing gal btw! I vent a lot on here (because it's where I feel comfortable doing so)...and that itself has definitely had therapeutic quality also because each day, moment, of this shiteous process is scary... trying...& life altering. It DOES take time Rman! Am I over the hurt...no because it's ongoing. Am I functioning more than I was when I first got here...Hell YEAH I am! Exhausting...most definitely, but still plugging away. I can still find a "funny"....I can still find a "joy" through this roller coaster ride. You will come out of this more aware and stronger. It's a life lesson (as shiteous as it is).

It's a bit more than breathing Rman but that's definitely where it starts & yes, you were spelling "breathing" correctly. Hope you are feeling a little bit better today... (((HUG)))

Rman, you get to spin the big wheel of feelings to choose how you feel about anything.

We have been programmed to feel X way about X, and Y way about Y. You can break that cycle. It's not easy, and it can't be done for everything, as your be no more than a robot, but you can shift, or see a different path on every event you attach a feeling to.