LOL, G!

Nice Rman. I agree it is not gender specific. I also might add that it does not necessarily have to happen at mid-life. My husband is having one at the age of 29....
ps- breakfast sandwiches kick ass!

It is gender specific, men don't have menopause.

some people just stop growing up somewhere along the way. they settle into a routine and ignore the inner yearnings for change and variety.

maybe, they are supposed to be that way.

others always have an itch. a desperate need to remain on the cutting edge, to grow, to learn, to be more than they were.

couples can maneuver these times but it sure isn't easy, is it?

no it sint easy

and even when you can manage to negotiate that growth and pursuit of interests and challenge,
a marriage can still fail, for precisely those reasons

my 17 yr relationship with NiceGuy husband ended because we had grown apart. Despite still loving one another, we no longer had much of anythin g in common.

i don't think it's really just that one person had the desire for change and one settled into a routine.

sometimes someone doesn't include their spouse in their new life. Sometimes you aren't part of the new plan. And sometimes, the 'cutting edge' is just an OW/OM. I don't think that makes them 'more than they were'...

I think midlife crisis is a fucking cop out. We all age, yet we all don't choose to leave our spouse behind and search out something else. You can grow and change within a healthy relationship. You can allow the other person to grow and change and develop new interests. Not everyone is interested in doing this, and they are the ones that leave. Just my opinion.

I've had more than a few moments in my life where I've wondered painfully "is this all there is?"...or been deafened by the biological clock ticking.

I've found those moments of anxiety and tension and dissatisfaction have challenged and motivated me to do more, reach higher, get stronger, aim more precisely, stop wasting time, get to work at knowing what my soul needed and making it happen.

I can easily imagine for some people, that tension and yearning somehow gets attached to the biological urge to merge in hot sweaty ways. Selfish for sure, but then so am I driving myself to fulfill my needs and desires that arent at all attached to heat or sweat!

I'm blessed to be single and only a few years before my young bird leaves the nest. I see it as the golden opportunity to fulfill as many wishes for myself as I can.

Thats not to say I dont get behind everyone who's partners put fulfilling their desires ahead of their partners and children.

I guess today, I'm just looking for the blessings in having become single again....and in being in no hurry to fill that space with another man or woman...except maybe myself.

i am so with the thought that this mid-life shit is...society's "nice label" for shelfish childish behaivor! who's needs are really completely ever filled...um a new born with a bottle. really ppl grow up and deal like everyone else!

sorry i am in a mood tonight, i most frustrated with asswipes who make children and then want to be one!!!

Mid-life crisis is when you have one too many teenagers in the house!

To add to last post, whether you call is MLC or whatever, the teenage behavior is exactly right in my situation with my W. She's completely in her own world like a state of euphoria, not recognizing the feelings of others. She didn't even cry when telling the kids that she's the one who wants the D. And then there's the OM. I'm not sure what you call it, probably semantics, but I truly believe she looked at the ladder and, about to turn 40 in January, being a stay-at-home-mom, and the kids getting older, her mindset now is another ladder. The only question is when/if she will come to her senses. Either way, it's driving me crazy especially living in the same house right now until the D lawyers let her finally move out.

(Getting old for a man)

Is when your hair gets thinner,your belly gets bigger and your pecker gets shorter.

So is it MLC when he can't seem to get over not having kids and recognizes now he's too old to start a family. The kid thing seems to weigh heavy on him...but how does he move forward if he can't get over the past?

Can't help but agree with hikerchic, it's something lacking within someone where they feel the cost justifies the actions because they deserve it. Most of the time it's a affair, or something material. Few ever feel the contentment and keep on searching. Many realize that the grass was not greener and what they needed to do was to look at what they did have and improve that. Society has made it so easy to rationalize and deny that you don't have to take responsibility for your actions.