Anything is possible. First they have to admit they have the problem and willing to work on it.

The latter.

counseling only helps if they truly go because they want to. you can go to counseling for years not really want to be there and it wont do any good. it is all about wanting to have it help you.

I've been on emotional abuse and survivors of psychopathic abuse for 3 years now, and the predominant wisdom is, therapy helps them be more cunning and slippery abusers.

I found that to be true in my case.

sorry that should read, I've been on emotional abuse FORUMS for 3 years now....

(sounds like a bloody prescription)

It depends on whether or not their in enough pain and really want help.

We can't force people to get help or to change.

If THEY really get that THEY need help and Want it then yes but if not.... no way....

depends on whether or not they realize they have a problem. Counseling did nothing to stop my wife's lying or cheating or self-denial because she doesn't think she's done anything wrong.

She had the chance to share her issues with a counselor and she quit to go f*ck the retard.

Only after she's suffered the same kind of emotional ass-kicking will she be able to get anything from counseling.

I agree with with Phoenix... There's nothing worse or more dangerous than a Sociopath or narcissist with a psychology degree...
*shudder*

Thank you for your responses. My impression was that he was just learning some new phrases from the counselor to use against me in arguments. (It's all about showing me I'm wrong.)

I gave up on the couples counseling and see a different counselor by myself now.

It might help, depends where abuse is comming from, if he doesn't like you enough and thinks other women are better, he might be just not into you and counseling will not help.

Lily that was my experience tooo, and we were in therapist training together...imagine it >:(

i recently got out of a relationship where i was manipulative and mentally and emotionally abusing my boyfriend. i tried to do everything to "fix" myself in the relationship but i couldn't. i need time to realize why i was doing what i was doing and how to stop. i needed to deal with my own issues as well. there is nothing more that i want than to be able to stop hurting the ones that i love so much. i am hoping to learn how to show people i love them in healthy ways rather than unhealthy ways. in short, i think people can change if they want to and are willing to deal with their own issues as well as issues in the relationship.

i hope that helped you see it from the other side :)

Thanks for the comments. I don't think my husband even thinks he has a problem. It's pretty hard to fix something that you won't admit exists.

Part of me wants him to get help, but he lies about his behaviors in counseling, so what's the point? Outside of counseling, I asked him why he lied? He didn't deny it. He basically said that it made him look bad. Apparently, he is more concerned about the therapist's impression of him than fixing the relationship.

Mine is and was so good at it he convinced a counsellor to tell me that all that was a problem was because I didnt meet him at the door every night with a hug and because I didnt dress in sexy lingerie. My ex thought it was great advice, I never did it once and never went back to that counsellor and refused to go for about 10 years. Now look where we are. Worse then before. Oh well...such is life...today is the first day of the rest of my life. I hate manipulative and emotionally abusive people...why do they do these things?

We suject to each other counseling to find out what went wrong and how to fix that.