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Made to look like bad person

llmt
llmt
Long story short, my H is trying to make me look crazy in others eyes. A friend of his sent me a message he knows what is going on and wants to help him. My H sent him a message that his friends and family are afraid to call cuz they think I will intercept it...well then fucking leave already. I don't care anymore what he does. No wonder everyone thinks I'm crazy. Yes, I did check his texts, his email but that is b/c he was lying and cheating on me and continued to do so while lying saying he wasn't. I'm just sick of being made to look like the fucked up one when he went and did this. I'm a mess right now after reading his response to his friend. Why does he have to do this to me...he can't even be honest about that. I feel freaking tortured living like this. I can't take much more. I am not crazy..and NOT a bad person..I did nothing wrong, why am I being persecuted.
llmt
llmt
Then people wonder why I sit and cry daily...I just cannot take much more of this...I can't. I'm trying but I can't.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just pm'd you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can you pick one of his friends to talk to? Get your side of the story out, so that you can feel less crazy.

I wouldn't go spreading the story all over, but to tell a few friends, yours and his, might make you feel better.

And then, honestly, don't worry too much about what's being said. I've lost good friends (or so I thought) because they were my stbx's friends first. Even though we were friends almost the same amount of time, he was their friend first. So regardless of what a total shit stbx was, I've had to endure what he might be saying to them.

Sometimes it still bothers me a bit, but not much. People either know me, or they don't. If they choose to believe him, more power to them.

Hang in there, llmt. Don't let his craziness get to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
(((((((((((((((((((LLMT)))))))))))))))))))))

It's war time my friend. Cry but don't let anger and despair get the best part of you. Detach yourself from those people and don't give a rat's ass of what their opinion is. Talk to your lawyer and strike.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay, this is the hard part. The separation of assets begins with your friends and family. Who supports whom is going to be made very clear. The people that are in your husband's camp should be kept at bay.


Can you leave?
llmt
llmt
I did give him my side...told him that and to take what M says with a grain of salt b/c all he does is lie. Probably not the right thing to do but I feel I need to justify myself, always, and if he believes me so be it...but they have been friends for over 30 years so whatever. I can't help it..he is really trying to make me lose it and it's working. It just gets worse instead of better for me. God, all I ever wanted is for him to leave me alone..if he wants her go for it...but leave me alone. Now he's telling everyone I'm bugging the joint.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah, he's definitely not going to be your friend if he's been your stbx's friend for 30 years.

You're bugging the place? And what if you were? And isn't that laughable?

The stuff that people will believe is hysterical. Just laugh. And don't let what people MIGHT think bother you.
llmt
llmt
I can leave but shouldn't have to have 3 of us live in a small apt. I need to wait until my first check to have money for rent anyway. The boys and I should be in our home..I've been inconvenienced enough in my book. He's just mentally breaking me down. I hate to be talked about b/c I'm not that person. I try to help everyone and I just get shit on.
llmt
llmt
he thinks that I'm bugging the place b/c I checked the text messages and installed a program where I captured his passwords where I found all the evidence via email. so now he thinks the whole place is bugged. Let it be known, he was hacking and checking into my email and facebook accts and telling her all that I was saying about my feelings about staying in the marriage after the first time I found out. I have done nothing..no cheating or anything. He's the liar.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're right. You shouldn't have to leave, but you have to consider what is best for you and your children. If your husband is on the lease or the mortgage he has a right to be in that house, as do you. If he is not on a lease to say an apartment you and your boys are living in, he is trespassing by being present.

I don't know your whole story, but from what I hear your STBX is scum. Get out while you have the mental and physical strength to do so. Can you stay with family until you get your first check?
llmt
llmt
We are both on the mortgage and deed and yes has every right to be here. I have no family or friends around here all live too far away...I'm doing this all on my own. He said he was moving out but hasnt yet. Don't think he wants to.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its called projection. They accuse you of being crazy to justify their actions. Don't react just call a lawyer and smile
llmt
llmt
Have a lawyer or actually two I can choose from, seeing a counsellor, on meds, what else can I do. He sucks dog crap, and he sucks to have to bring me down and for no reason.
totallychaotic247
totallychaotic247
((((((((((LLMT))))))))) I'm sorry he is being such a fucktard! Hopefully he will move out soon. Don't worry about what his friends think of you. I know one of the hardest parts of this for me has been feeling like I lost all my friends in the divorce. We had mutual friends that he knew longer so guess whose friends they are now. I have realized(it took me awhile) that I don't need friends like them. Again, hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine did the same thing -- accused me of being crazy. Still won't admit affair, never will. Some can never own up to what they've done and are such cowards that they need to blame the innocent ones for their sins...and try to make them look crazy to ruin their credibility.

Stay strong, don't worry about his friends -- lean on your own right now, and remember that you are not the one that cheated. You will get through this.