Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
on September 15th my wife told me she doesn't love me anymore via email letter. Downhill since then. Wants a divorce seemingly very quickly. ALWAYS texting somebody. Married 18 years with two girls 17 and 14. I know I share some of the blame here but I never cheated on my wife, got physical with her or my daughters, not addicted to anything, not a gambler or woman chaser. I work 40-50 hours per week and make good money. We live in a nice home. I am devastated that she feels this way. She won't go to counseling so I go alone. I'm on two different anti-depressants and an anti-anxiety medication and am miserable. I am lost, scared, angry, confused and feel hopeless.
Our divorce was final in July. He would not go to counseling either.
I have good days and bad, some miserable like today but little by little it gets better. This is still very very new to you. Some answers from her as to why may hurt but will help you figure out the next step.
After the day I had today I feel better being on here just talking.
Oh, let me comment on this: she told you she wanted a divorce via email?!?! What a fucking coward!! And it wouldn't surprise me to hear that, like my ex, she is very closed-off when it comes to discussing emotions or difficult topics.
On her phone all the time, not paying attention to you, seems checked out. yeah, she's cheating (emotionally, physically, or both; usually both). I'm sorry. I hate to say it. I'd bet a lot of money on it, though. Another reason she didn't want to tell you about the divorce in person - GUILT. Mine read a prepared statement to me in a marriage counseling session. Didn't have the nerve or wherewithal to use her own words on the spot. She was also on her phone constantly, Facebook addict, texting nonstop, etc. She was acting like a teenager, and in my mind that is what she became (and she's a highly-educated doctor!).
Ok, I'm rambling a bit, but I just want to say you're not alone. Sadly, this stuff happens and the committed spouse often gets left behind. Focus on the health of your children, and on doing things to improve your own life - your social life, hobbies, health, etc. I would suggest you contact a lawyer right away and make sure you don't get taken advantage of in your divorce. I would also suggest you immediately stop communicating to her about anything other than the logistical details of your children, the divorce, and how to deal with joint assets (house?). If she wants out, it's done. Treat it that way and try to move on.
There are divorce support groups out there like "Divorce Care" that might help you.
It's a brutal time - toughest year of my life was last year. But I can tell you that things are looking up. My divorce was official exactly 1 year ago today. And while life is not all roses, I am feeling WAY better now.
This forum is a godsend, so use it - vent, journal - whatever helps. You'll likely get great feedback from good people who are going/have gone through similar things.
Best wishes. Hang in there! It WILL get better. (everyone says that, and it doesn't sound believable, but one day you may be like me and start saying that to someone else!).
Lots of good advice here. Reach out to anyone who will be support to you. You are gone info to have to lean on them. Gather them in.