I'm sorry you're here and we all know your pain. Does your husband say why he feels this way? Have you asked him if he is seeing someone else?

Your husband has issues that have nothing to do with you. Please understand that you have done nothing to cause this issue with your husband.

Why did you move out? You should have stayed in the home with the kids and if he wanted to separate, he should have moved out. You might want to consider moving back in the house. Why should you have to be put out any more than you already area?

We're here to listen. Hang in there.

He just says that he is stressed at work, and stressed at home, and that he doesn't feel happy anymore and hasnt felt happy for a long time.
I think there might be someone else, but he keeps denieing it.

I chose to leave because the house is in his name, i cannot afford to live there on my own. Nor did i want to be all alone there. I wanted to be in a place i felt safe and loved. Cause right now im feeling pretty unlovable..

You are not unlovable. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you've joined. I've only been here a short time but it has helped to read and talk with people dealing with similar heart ache. We just celebrated our 10 th anniversary and by this time you feel like you are where you're meant to be, then all of a sudden the rug is pulled out from under you and your floundering. It's scary, I hope we are able to help you through it one way or another.

Just a thought, maybe he's not seeing someone else. Maybe it's depression or something medical. Would he consider speak g with his DR?

I have asked him if he would be willing to talk to someone. Even suggested counseling. He just said he doesn't need someone else to tell him that his life if messed up, and that he is unhappy.

Try marriage counseling. If he doesn't want to go, you can still go to therapy for yourself. You can not make someone go but you can get the help you deserve. Communication right now is important. Nothing you can do if the communication is onesided. It is possible that he has already checked out of the marriage. Just be prepared.

I would also recommend talking with a lawyer. Learn what you can do. Unless there was a prenuptial agreement, even if house is in his name it is half yours too. Check the laws where you are from. A lawyer will help you with your rights.
Stay strong and calm.
-HUGS-

Sounds like you are between a rock and stone...so glad to read you have the support of your parents. I agree with above in finding out what you are entitled...I believe you can take 1/2 out of savings and l/2 out of checking as living expenses....take your name off all credit cards and get one of your own ....same with savings and checking...keep your name on joint saving/checking....divorcecare is a good site to help you also. You've been together for a long time, people change a lot from high school... to adult....if he is not willing to go to counseling, I suggest you check out this site to help you form plans for yours and kids needs...Best of Luck!!!http://www.womansdivorce.com/divorce-and-money.html

it is difficult when your partner drops the "i'm not happy" turd on you. if they were ever all in the marriage they would have spoken up about "us" getting off course rather than hiding it, harboring it, and most likely putting all the blame for it on you.

trust him ever no more, get tested for STDs, get counseling, offer counseling to your kids---they may not want to go---don't make them, get a lawyer

it is sad, it will hurt, you will heal

My wife and I are high school sweethearts as well. Now after 25 years of marriage, she left me and took the kids. The only contact with my children I have is my 21 year old son who was here with me while my wife left with the my 2 daughters and 2 sons to go meet up with her girl friend and their kids at the beach on the Texas coast. Then she never returned. Now I am seeing my 3 minor children through supervised visits and my 19 year old daughter won't talk to me. My wife touted family violence which is utterly a lie. Actually the supervised visits, which my wife mandated in our agreement and would not take off the table, will have it backfire on her. You see, the supervisor observed my 3 kids hug me, tell me they miss me and tear up when the visit was over instantly. In her words, "If these kids had been abused, it would be obvious. Clearly your kids were missing a dad they love and care about". This will all go to help my case.

I know this doesn't help you feel better, but at least he is communicating with you. He's not doing anything covert or secretive. This is better than he simply disappearing and then filing and putting an injunction in place to prevent you from speaking to him. This is what happened to me. My life is so upside down. If I could only talk to my wife. Please take care and look into your heart and see where you can perhaps reach him through his heart. I didn't take the time lately to do that with my wife. I feel I let her down, but never did I deserve the lies and horrible allegations she made about me in a court document. Sorry to go on an on... but I have so much that's pouring out. I'm glad for this forum where we can support each other. Sending hugs, peace and love.

It sounds to me like things could be resolved. He does not sound definite in his responses to you. I would get into counseling asap. Best wishes..

I think he feels like he owes it to me and our kids to not get a divorce, but I also feel that he has already checked out of our marriage. I have suggested counseling to him and he got defensive stating he didn't need someone to tell him that his life is messed up.

It all sounds like code for... I have been seeing someone on the side but I am a lyer and don't want to admit to being a bigger jerk than I already am.
Move back home! Take your life back. He can move to the couch! Start digging! Phone bills.. ask neighbors with security cameras to see if they have anything on them. iPhones track you.. I have a how to in my journals.. ask him if he is cheating ... he says no then ask for his phone and prove it!
Good luck!

Most of the time when this happens you will find out that he is cheating. I'm sorry to say it. You should watch for the red flags and dig if you can. My now-ex-wife started deleting texts, locking her phone, etc. This is the most common thing in the world, unfortunately. Good luck to you! Know that this is not on you - relationships have problems that related to both parties, of course, but when someone cheats it's totally on them.

I agree that it sounds like he's cheating! I've heard this before as well. They will string you along as long as they can. I believe that my spouse believes that I'm going to put up with his behavior. I'm looking at my options. They aren't that great! Hugs and prayers to you.

I agree with all who say he's cheating. He's confused because he has another woman on the side, yet a family to support, and doesn't know what to do about it.

You're acting as if there's something wrong with you, and that's exactly where a cheater wants you, to make you think you're the problem, in order to throw you off the scent, so that you don't dig in that part of the garden. Beating you down and stealing your self-esteem is how they can get away with what they're doing, because it leaves you dumbfounded, deeply hurt, and out of the equation.

Cheaters lie, it's what they do. If he goes to work during the day, leave your kids with someone, get over there in the morning, and do some digging. If he's been living alone for a bit, there's probably all kinds of evidence laying around. Check the garbage and garage, and any other place you suspect. Gather it all, and keep it at your mom's. Don't go to him with it until you have solid evidence. This might be the worst thing that's ever happened to you, and you may have a long road ahead of you before you can let your guard down. Do whatever you can to dry up the tears, leave your woe behind, and put your detective hat on. If you can't do it, think of your kids and what kind of future you want for them, and act on their behalf, if you can't do it for yourself. He is not your ally anymore, and the person you think is your husband has checked out and is lying to you so protect yourself.

Go and see a lawyer; most will offer a free consultation, so that you know your rights and what you're entitled to. You think you love him, but you're in love with the image of someone who doesn't exist. He's not that person and when you discover what he's capable of, and who he really is, the love turns to disgust in a very short period of time.

Wishing you and your children well.

So sorry your going through this. I'm literally in the same boat as you it's been about 2 months since he has left. He says he needs time to make a decision bc he doesn't want to make the wrong one. He states he is unhappy bc of the constant arguing but we argue due to his behaviors and me growing tired of his drama and being placed second or third or whenever he feels like it. I don't call him or text him ( we have a 3 1/2 yr old) I know he is living his life how he wants without a care in the world. And I'm more than positive there is another woman or women. All I can tell you is just take it Day by day do not reach out to him. If he is "confused" then you reaching out to him will only push him further away and he will try to twist it that you are trying to rush him. It hurts like hell!! Keep posting or write your feelings down. Take it Day by day.