Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm struggling tonight. I am really feeling hurt and betrayed, and I'm sure that is ok, given what has happened to me, but I'm a bit lost as to why. Why being the question no one can seem to answer. I've been dating a girl for a month or so. It was long distance, but we both claimed we felt something special, and I had all intentions of saving money just to travel out to see her in a few months. This girl and I have talked for months, being really good friends, and actually met her here quite a while ago, and she was very nice to reach out and help me when I was struggling last year.
As of today, we are no longer speaking. Turns out, for the last 4-5 days, she has been lying to me and seeing her ex, and having sex with him in a nearby hotel. I woke up to her saying we needed to talk, and when I got on video chat to, she laid this all out at my feet, knowing it would self-destruct our relationship.
She claims she feels bad for hurting me, but doesn't feel guilty. She doesn't know why she did it, just that it happened, repeatedly, and she doesn't know why. I'm at a loss for words on this. I know enough about the guy to say that according to her, he wasn't very respectful of her, he treated her badly, lied, she didn't have any real sexual chemistry with him, but yet she goes back. I just don't get it.
I treated her well, carved up my schedule with friends and family to spend time with her, shared all kinds of feelings and personal stuff with her, listened and truly cared, wanted nothing more to finally meet her in person, and to show her the love I could really offer her. We were good friends, we tried this relationship type as well, and yet the betrayal was so bad, it felt as deep as what my ex-wife did to me just a year ago.
So I'm sitting here, tears down my face, wondering why the hell am I crying over someone who would do this to me. More overly, why is it that I seem to be put in a situation where I'm hurt, again and again. I want to find love as much as the rest of you surely do, and honestly, I'm a wonderful man. And yet, I'm torn down because I have a disability, or the one or two people that seem willing to overlook that fact treat me so harshly, it is easier being single and alone every night.
I don't know what to do. I'm in repair mode again, and I know it will take some time to process and get over this recent setback. But when I do, what the heck am I supposed to do. Is it just easier being alone for the rest of my life, never knowing the touch of another woman, then going through this gauntlet of relentless ridicule and eventual heartbreak by those not phased by my illness? I'd also love to know what the heck has happened to the morals of people. Am I the only one left that feels that cheating and lying, and deceptive behavior is bad?
Oh well, I guess it is what it is. Thanks for reading everyone, and if you can offer advice, I would greatly appreciate it. There probably is no words to help me, but i needed to let it out at least, before I felt the urge to scream. It's funny really, I cope very well with my disability. I make do with all the alterations I have had to do to live my life to the fullest, to enjoy what life has to offer. I sit here wondering why I even bothered. All people see is that I'm sick, and want no part, or want to take advantage of it. So why do I even bother?
As of today, we are no longer speaking. Turns out, for the last 4-5 days, she has been lying to me and seeing her ex, and having sex with him in a nearby hotel. I woke up to her saying we needed to talk, and when I got on video chat to, she laid this all out at my feet, knowing it would self-destruct our relationship.
She claims she feels bad for hurting me, but doesn't feel guilty. She doesn't know why she did it, just that it happened, repeatedly, and she doesn't know why. I'm at a loss for words on this. I know enough about the guy to say that according to her, he wasn't very respectful of her, he treated her badly, lied, she didn't have any real sexual chemistry with him, but yet she goes back. I just don't get it.
I treated her well, carved up my schedule with friends and family to spend time with her, shared all kinds of feelings and personal stuff with her, listened and truly cared, wanted nothing more to finally meet her in person, and to show her the love I could really offer her. We were good friends, we tried this relationship type as well, and yet the betrayal was so bad, it felt as deep as what my ex-wife did to me just a year ago.
So I'm sitting here, tears down my face, wondering why the hell am I crying over someone who would do this to me. More overly, why is it that I seem to be put in a situation where I'm hurt, again and again. I want to find love as much as the rest of you surely do, and honestly, I'm a wonderful man. And yet, I'm torn down because I have a disability, or the one or two people that seem willing to overlook that fact treat me so harshly, it is easier being single and alone every night.
I don't know what to do. I'm in repair mode again, and I know it will take some time to process and get over this recent setback. But when I do, what the heck am I supposed to do. Is it just easier being alone for the rest of my life, never knowing the touch of another woman, then going through this gauntlet of relentless ridicule and eventual heartbreak by those not phased by my illness? I'd also love to know what the heck has happened to the morals of people. Am I the only one left that feels that cheating and lying, and deceptive behavior is bad?
Oh well, I guess it is what it is. Thanks for reading everyone, and if you can offer advice, I would greatly appreciate it. There probably is no words to help me, but i needed to let it out at least, before I felt the urge to scream. It's funny really, I cope very well with my disability. I make do with all the alterations I have had to do to live my life to the fullest, to enjoy what life has to offer. I sit here wondering why I even bothered. All people see is that I'm sick, and want no part, or want to take advantage of it. So why do I even bother?
deleted_user
I am new to this site also and the more I read the more I see why there are so many problems out there. I have read some replies that were great but most of them I hope don't get taken to heart by the people suffering. I do have to say that this is very educational for me. So as for me I can only try to take time to really think about how I reply and show support and not so much self opionion. Nobody on here really knows each other so lets all think about that.
deleted_user
Since you are new here, you probably don't have the benefit of seeing how much the advice given helps others long-term. I was a mess when I joined here 2 years ago; since that time I've grown immensely, and a great deal of that growth has come from some great advice I got from people on here. People that have been down the same road I'm traveling. As with all advice - take what you want and leave the rest.
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