Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years now. We've had horrible fights. He would get defensive at the drop of a hat, call me toxic, crazy and always use the word gaslighting in the wrong context.
I wanted someone to listen and started confiding in a male friend. He let me open up without yelling or trying to pick a fight. Go figure I developed feelings for him. After a few months though I realized I didn't actually want the guy in that way, I just wanted someone to be there for me. Nothing ever happened between us.
Come home one night to find my boyfriend has read my diary and he wants to know why I didn't just open up to him. Long fight, he went to therapy and it's been a bumpy journey.
It's been 6 months since he read my diary and he still deals with jealousy but not in a healthy way. His brain goes to worst case scenario no matter what and he hyper fixates when I mention a guy, even one's I spoke to at the store.
I'm trying to be there and to understand his pain but it keeps turning into bad fights where he needs me to apologize over and over till he calms down.
I love him but this is killing me. I've never forgiven him for reading my diary.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
You definitely could have sought out a therapist instead of venting to a male acquaintance because it’s like you had an emotional affair.
I would recommend both of you get some individual therapy and if he is unwilling then leave him. I can tell you that things like frustrated toxic fighting can lead to severe anger, resentment and then physical altercations.
I am the queen of not leaving toxicity until it turns me toxic.
Being there to understand his pain only enables his bad behavior. It is our inner self devaluing our own self.
This is killing you, you say. PLEASE get help for yourself. It is time to find the strength to do what is best for you. You can't save him. You can only save yourself. Please come back and tell us how you are doing.