Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, is anyone else having to still love with their ex parner or spouse after separation? Its been 7 weeks and we have to live together with our daughter. Selling my house to split equity and finding another much cheaper house for me and daughter is proving difficult. Neither of us have any other option or can afford to rent in the short term or have friends/family to stay with in our area.
im really struggling to cope seeing each other daily and not speaking. We are civil in front of our daughter but the atmosphere is so tense and I crave physical distance from him as being near him brings my mood down and reminds me how hurt and upset I feel that marriage has not worked out.
we were together 13 years and to be treated like a stranger or casual aquaintance is just too upsetting.
He doesnt seem to care that we have split up and are divorcing. Just carries on as if nothing big has happened, whereas I have fallen apart and have had to take time off work. Each time I see him, I'm reminded of how little I must have meant to him. ( i know this may not be true, but it is how it feels as he does not express emotions/sadness/loss).
does anyone have any tips on how to survive this living situation?
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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For so long, I consumed my self with "only ifs" or "I should have been" but at the end of the day that stuff doesn't matter when minds are already made up. I got severely depressed but I was depressed of the things I couldn't control. You can't your marriage, you can't control his feelings toward you but you can control your thoughts. Pain has a way of lying to us because of the hurt. We were not created to believe in a lie. Not saying your marriage was a lie but your self talk is keeping you from rising through the ashes. Online therapy has helped me out tremendously and I got a support system around me that is lifting me up.
Hurt people hurt people and my story is my ex has a deep wound she refuses to deal with that came back after 14 years..
Regardless, we have to go through the pain to mend the heart. I was always told something has to be beautifully birthed from pain, such as a mother after she gives birth to her child. When we see the beauty we forget the pain.
It's a process, ever feeling is warranted.
Do you two have divorce lawyers? Because besides splitting the house, you are entitled to spousal support and child support. This money is important, as you will need this for your new residence. And your new life.
All I can think of is to try to go out as much as you can. Even if it's to walk around the block (do you have a dog to take for a walk, maybe?). Go out for a drive somewhere by yourself, and sometimes go do something that's just you and your daughter. Reconnect with friends, your family, etc. Give them a call, see if they want to go out and grab a coffee, lunch, shopping.... anything!
I think the less time you are physically in the house, the better. Again, I'm so sorry, this sounds rough. It won't last forever though.
Yes, I’m still very much stuck on the “why is this happening?” “Why does he not care?” Etc etc in my head. Im doing other things like exercise classes, therapy and speaking to family/friends a bit and self-care so I guess its just about time and distance. The distance part is what isn’t happening and I think its dragging out my attachment to him and feels like re-traumatising myself when I have to see him. I know we will always need to communicate for our daughter’s sake but the whole dynamic would be easier if we aren’t living together I think