Again with the food...now we're writing with it.

Your Ex will not understand your letter. What ever you have to say will not be accepted by him in the manner you are writing. When the X and I were trying reconciliation we wrote each other. He took all my words and feelings as attacking him instead of trying to see things from my view. I was giving him a clue into my world and he chose to use it against me. My point is llmt, your will never get the reaction you are desperately looking for. If you decide to send him a message wait a couple of days and re-read what you wrote before sending it. Good luck

I wrote my son's father a letter when we broke up. He responded with a long, heartfelt letter detailing how much he loved me, all of our differences, and all of the reasons that our relationship could never work. I still treasure that letter and used it for a reference on some of my darkest days coming out of that breakup.

With my husband, two weeks after he left, I wrote him a long email once asking him to be patient with me because I was hurting so much and asking him to tell me why he left. He responded back with an email so hurtful, I don't know if I'll ever erase the words from my mind. He told me that he never loved me and that OW was his soulmate. He said our marriage was a mistake and that I was a terrible mother and a "psycho". He said cruel things about my son and my family. In short, I opened the door to let him abuse me again.

I've seen both sides of it, but depending on his response it may do more harm than good.

I have...but my situation is a bit different. My stbxH is supportive and wants to help me through this, so he'll read them (emails usually)...but he doesn't usually respond...although sometimes he will verbally. I agree...we do it for closure or to hear them say they made a mistake and hurry back to us. Ugh. Never send anything without sleeping on it first.

LL.. honey, if you send this letter. I am scared for what his possible response will do to you!

Really, do you want him back? Would you want someone back that you already know will hurt you just to get something that he wants? Honey, that is not love at all.... He is a selfish pig, he only cares about himself, you already know that... he has proven it to you and the kids time and again.... Please, if you do write the letter, do hold on to it for a few days and read it again before you send it!

Letters to the ex...I have written, mailed, emailed, left in his car, in his apartment, stuck in the door, mailed to his mom's house.....it changed nothing but just let him know I was desperate to have him back and had no self pride, which turned him off even more. Write it....burn it!!

llmt, I don't want him to laugh at you. Don't send the letter. You don't deserve that on top of everything else. If he is not a compassionate person, don't put yourself out there.

I never send letters nor do i say things in person. it's hard to be rejected over and over again. I know it would help you get out of your mind what you really want to say to him but does it really matter?

I often wonder why it doesn't matter? why when you love someone so much do they not care when you are hurt and just want them to hear and know how much they hurt you? is it b.c they can't face the fact that they are an asshole or is it b/c they are just assholes?