Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Letter/s to the stbx/stbxes

llmt
llmt
I was wondering if there is anyone out there that sent or wrote their ex/stbx a letter that they actually got. I know so many here say write one but never send it, I want to write one and give it to him. Maybe he will laugh at me behind my back, maybe he will show it to his OW, maybe he won't even read it, but I just want him to know how extremely hurt and heartbroken I and the kids will be when this is over, and what a huge mistake he is going to make. Not to mention I want to get so much off my chest, that at least it will be done, over with, and out there. Thanks for any input.
deleted_user
deleted_user
By saying he is making a huge mistake, it sounds like you are begging him to not go through with it.

But the question is if you put that out there, are you in a place where you can stay married to him?
deleted_user
deleted_user
And you really want to set your self up for more hurt why exactly?

bad idea imho,this would be like breaking the no contact rule
deleted_user
deleted_user
Write it.. but don't send it.....it won't change anything.

If he cares at all he won't read it..... and if he doesn't it's not going to matter what you have to say.
llmt
llmt
Actually I am the one that filed...I guess I should have put in there "had made a huge mistake". And...no I cannot trust him as he still lies to me. Head knows, heart another story.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've got about ten, plus my DS journals. I feel better writing them, if she decides to reconcile, I might let her see them, if not, that's okay. Just getting it out (here and at therapy) helps me. I wrote one to my dad who I haven't seen in 10 years, getting it out, letting it go, even forgiving, no matter if he knows or not was cathartic.
deleted_user
deleted_user
what oestonee said
deleted_user
deleted_user
I received one from the ex bf...it messed me up for a bit....


I got a letter of recommendation to future suitors from my ex. True story.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You gain something from writing it.

You gain nothing from showing it to him
deleted_user
deleted_user
that's fucked up Z

*hugs*
deleted_user
deleted_user
I use the letter of recommendation like a mofo....wait...oh no....so that's why....WAH WAH....*rips letter*
llmt
llmt
letter of recommendation...are you kidding? Sounds like you are taking applications..geez.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't do letters, words are more effective. Say it like it is.
deleted_user
deleted_user
@ Z: were you his employee? douche.
llmt
llmt
I have tried to talk to him on numerous occasions and have put what I felt out there...I either got zero response or he couldn't look at me in the face. I guess I need what I will never get...a response.
deleted_user
deleted_user
OK, I can say from experience don't give it to him. My ex and I would get into heated email exchanges during the divorce and where did it get me? Divorced and he's moved on.