Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Most of the time, people get married because they are truly in love with one another. But so many marriages ultimately end in divorce. Do you think part of the reason is because people give up trying to make the marriage work? Shouldn't more effort be placed in trying to keep the marriage alive, before it gets to the point of no return? Why do people take their marriage for granted? Why don't they realize what they have, while it is still good? I can honestly say that I could have done more to make the marriage better. I guess I just became too lazy to care anymore. I never realized what I actually had when times were good...
Insecurity is a big roadblock in communication
sit'em down and make them read this entire thread very carefully
maybe eBay
Very frustrating indeed. And after several days of acceptance, I can feel myself slipping back to the "If we just...we could...this could work if..." game in my head. Ugh. It kills me, so I need to try to stop it.
I think everyone has an inherent want and need to communicate, but barriers arise during a relationship that prevent it. Like resentment, insecurity, lack of self-esteem, lack of trust, overbearing/controling partners, indifference, etc. And once the freedom and safety of open communication are lost, it's usually a wicked downward spiral that's hard to recover from. Sometimes too hard.
All these things are related to our ego. We're trying to impress, or we think we're not good enough, or we fear confrontation, or maybe we think we have it all figured out without asking our partner.. I know I did that a lot.
We fear not knowing or being wrong so we try to save face by either lying or shutting down. We fear not being accepted for our humaness and faults, so we try to be someone we're not. But in a long term relationship, we have no choice but to slowly reveal who we really are.
There are lots of reasons, and some solutions.
I think communication and relationship classes should start in elementary school. They feel math is important enough for classes and books, but relationships are taught by throwing the kids out on the playground and letting them sort it out. They have sex ed, but I guess relationship ed isn't important enough.
It should start at home, but I doubt there are enough functional healthy relationships left in this country to be decent role models to stop the cycle. Is that too pessimistic?
What was the question....oh...people are lazy and kind of selfish.