My ex was not a serial cheater. He told me he'd let me know if there was someone else, which he abruptly did and immediately moved out. I could tell he had detached himself emotionally for sometime. There was a point that I had seen a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode where Larry David reminds Cheryl that she promised he could have sex w/ another woman for their 10 year anniversary, and it inspired me. I thought about encouraging him to give it a shot, as I thought he was being especially critical of me and not seeing the good things anymore, and maybe an affair would make him see the light that thnings weren't as bad as he had created in his head. Though I never verbalized it, once it happened in reality I freaked. Knowing they were in a hotel together makes me especially crazy.

What this is leading me to is what is the nature of jealousy? Surely we all know of "open relationships", but why are so many of us unable to let our partners follow their bliss? Is it insecurity about our own desirability? Is it posessiveness that we feel we OWN them? I understand there's a religious foundation to what vows mean, there's also the idea of growing old together. Obviously no one wants an STD. Is it the power thing, an ego thing, a respect thing? Are "open relationship" people a little more evolved, or more emotionally vacuos?