Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I found this site a few years ago when I was going through a divorce. I found it very therapeutic to hear other people's stories and offer any advice if possible. I found myself back here, having made only a small amount of progress.
Three years ago I divorced a narcissistic alcoholic. The end of the relationship was very chaotic, which culminated in her having an affair. I thought I made all the right moves afterwards. I tried to be practical, litterally moving for a fresh start, went to counseling, and tried to concentrate of my teenaged child. Though I was in a short relationship a few years later, I still find myself alone and dealing with anxiety.
While my ex went off the rails, sleeping around with essentially anyone, I have concentrated on my child, living situation, and my job. All of these things have improved over time, to where I am happy with them. The one lingering issue is myself. Now in my mid forties, I do not know where to begin working on myself. Which is the most common advice I hear.
I have found therapy to be ineffective. My friends and family love to give me advice about how I need to go out more and meet people. I have no interest in bars or in drinking, I did those things when I was younger.
While I have been through the gauntlet, I still feel very scarred from the ordeal. Any advice on self improvement or finding new interests would be greatly appreciated.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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I went out last night to listen to some music with a couple. Never had I felt so lonely...and realized...I am tired of going out. I did it alot in my 20s and 30s...and now..when I am older...I have to start all over?
There's so much loss...and unfairness...and weirdness...and having to have balls being older to do things I think I should have done in my 20s.
I totally understand...I did try meditation and joined a few meetup groups. It was great...met alot of nice people...but mostly other women. So...the odds are pretty good for you! LOL
Thanks for sharing your experience.
But, you can also look at it as an exciting time in your life. 40s is still young! Check into all the Meet ups in your area before automatically saying they are not for you. I don't know what you mean about them not being your speed... is that too slow or too fast for you? You can also start your own group, too!
Ask around friends and family, if they know anyone they can fix you up with (it really does work!). Play some co-ed sports, now that Spring is here. Go to any outdoor events such as Farmer's Markets, fairs, festivals.... There is plenty to do out there and plenty of ways to meet women.
Also, if one therapist did not work out, try again. It took me 4 therapists to find the right one. Good luck.
A great way to build self esteem is to go to the largest grocery store shop every aisle, saying hello, hi, great day or smiling to everyone you see. If you can actually do this twice a week after just 4 weeks you will be feeling better and looking better.
Pick up a book and read it, read a book every week, read about things you never have heard of.
For 5 minutes a day sit in the sun and talk to yourself about yourself. IT will hurt at first, but after about 4 weeks you will love the peace and happiness it brings.
Journal your journey.
I don’t feel like I have a confidence issue either. It feels more like a lack of focus and interest.
Thanks for the tips. I used to be a big reader and it’s always something I wanted to get back to, but hadn’t been in the right headspace for it.
I recently went through a tough patch, and about a month into it, I started a new men's group in my church, signed up for a volunteer group, and committed more to my friendships. The idea was to become an adder rather than a subtracter. In that regard it didn't work, the benefits far outweighed what I gave out.
God speed bro.
I admire you for leaving. Healing takes time, and only time can heal. You need to learn to love yourself or you’ll end up with another naraccist. I am on the verge of leaving my naraccistic husband. Everday is trauma in one way or another. I am miserable, and there are other men out there, but i am so scared to take that step and leave for the anxiety yet to come. Maybe we can be a support for eachother as only someone who has truly been with a naraccist can understand what it feels like after you leave. The scars remain.
@Cindy2000 leaving is the biggest step. If that’s what you choose, be prepared for the narcissist to lash out and be angry. They have trouble understanding rejection and most likely will take it as a personal insult. (They generally take anything that doesn’t go their way as a personal insult). Please be careful.