Love is nice. It's the feeling we have inside ourselves when someone means a lot to us.

That's what it Is. A feeling. Nothing more or less. And in a way, a bit of a selfish feeling.

Although it often gets us doing very unselfish things.

But no one exists on this earth to make us feel loved. What judges character, at least for me, are the things we will do for someone else when we DON'T feel love towards them.

Do we change our kids diapers when we just feel like throwing them out the window? (If you've never felt that tired then great, but I've been there many a time!) Are we still kind and faithful to our spouses when we're equally tired? Do we help them when they struggle? Or do we turn and walk away?

And how vicious will we be when we're hurt? As we all will be sometime in any relationship. Will we swear, yell, slam things, or attack someone with personal knowledge they trusted us with?

The last being the most devestating of all.

No one can "prove" a feeling. But that's irrevelant. It's actions that count.

I loved and proved and it still was not enough.

Wow Patti! Well said - nailed it:)

I really don't think it's possible to love someone more than you love yourself, except maybe your children.

I think if you can put someone else first and make sacrifices for them, that shows your love for them, but I think that's also an indication that you love yourself and you are pretty secure within yourself.

There ore other things a person can do, like making plans for a special occasions, but on the whole, I would look for someone who can put others first.

I don't think it's all up to us to prove it, I think people have a responsibility to understand who they are with and try to figure out their "language of love". Everyone speak a different dialect, you shouldn't say to yourself "if they loved me they would do X"

I like what Patti said about love being unselfish. That doesn't mean putting yourself last, but it does mean occasionally putting others first. And like she said, doing things for someone when you do NOT feel like it. When they are hard and awful.

one of my favorite Bible quotes is the one often used in weddings:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is the internal sign that we're doing it right.

It's possible to take care of a child, or anyone without feeling it. But if we're coming from the right perspective, it's the REWARD from God, nature, whatever your beliefs are, for all the hard work that any relationship is.

On the other hand, if all we seek from others is love, then it can be profoundly selfish. And we will skip from one person to another in an endless attempt for them to create a feeling inside ourselves that we should be filling ourselves.

Parents, and perhaps God, are the only two exceptions that have an obligation to love us. But they are also the two that have the obligation to help us grow as people. And any good parent knows, that if you're doing your job, your child won't love you all the time.

Just my opinion....

Love isn't enough to make a relationship healthy, in fact, I don't even consider it top two. I think respect and communication are more important and when you talk love, that means the ability to adapt and learn to love someone in other ways, because we all know, that "in love" feeling fades and then the selfish ones look for it somewhere else.

I loved my STBX throughout the entire marriage, never stopped for one day. I told her every day and I tried to show it as often as I could in many different ways.

It wasn't enough. She didn't really love me the last couple years I think and she really didn't respect me or our marriage and definitely didn't try to communicate her feelings.

When she went outside the marriage to talk about her unhappiness, she was already "cheating" IMO.

Love ain't near enough..."love" in fact, is what ends up breaking up a lot of marriages. They end up being "in love" with someone else.

That's it exactly DWH.

And did you ever see some parents at soccer games? They love Their kid, and run over every other kid out there in the process. The same when your kid is great at school, or dance, potty trained faster, or made their bed younger, or is just better behaved.

Love is a wonderful powerful force when used for good. It's no joke when I say I'd die for my kids without hesitation.

Or the most selfish feeling there is.

Dadwithhope has a point.

Yea - Dadwithhope does have a point. Many people I think misuse the word 'love.' To me - it does not exist without a healthy respect and appreciation for the other person.

" I love my daughters. That's not enough, though, to make sure they grow up right. That's also not enough for us to have a good relationship."

Out of all the people in this world I love my children unconditionally. My oldest is mad at me right now and dont know how long it will last. She can walk through the door and it would be like nothing ever happen.

I dont think I will love anyone like I do my kids. I do have to work on having her love because of her mother.

Proving you love someone isn't always enough. I would have done anything to keep my marriage together, but in the end, it doesn't matter.

Love, itself, is not enough. If it were, I'd not be in the middle of a divorce.

There is no more misplaced term than "love". "Love" means different things to different people. I have no idea what it means to my STBX. Maybe that's why she wants out in the first place.

I loved him from my whole heart... I felt love, I was in love. I was solid in the relationship in good times and BAD. Now he's unhappy with his choice... oh well... I will believe in love AGAIN!

I feel that love is an overrated vulnerable emotion that I won't let happen again. (minus the love that I have for my daughter and family) *shrugs*

Pass the smoke... I ran out :)