Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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It's been 4 weeks........

CantLetGo
CantLetGo

Some of you have probably seen my first posting and know that on Aug 4, my life changed.  I was dumped.  Out of the blue.  Without going into the whole story again,  I just have a question for all of you.  I have been NC since it happened.  A week ago he messaged on facebook telling me to "unfriend" him, that he wouldn't hide his life from me much longer.  Needless to say that hurt and angered me.......if he wants to unfriend, he can do it.  And I guess I should throw in that he isn't seeing anyone else,  I was dumped because he didn't see us moving forward.  Anyway,  I broke the NC and replied to his message.  I told him I loved him and that I thought he was my future.  I also told him that if he didn't want to remain friends then unfriend me. He hasn't.  Anyway, I'm not a kid, 48 to be exact, but I still am active on Facebook.  So's my ex.  And after his message he began posting pics of him having fun,  commenting on other people's posts.....which is not a normal thing for him to do, pics of his daughter, etc....  I think that must be what he meant by protecting me anymore.  Anyway, I'll get to my point now :)  Any of you have exes on Facebook that you can't help yourself from looking at?  How did you stop?  The obsessive thoughts are killing me.  I'm already heartbroken by the break up but now I see all the "happy" stuff he's doing and it's like an extra stab. I have unfollowed him but I can't seem to control the urge to peek.


Any advice at all, please share.  And please don't just say "stop looking", if I could do that I wouldn't be in here asking for advice :)


I cry every day and I want it to stop.

Anna2612
Anna2612
Oh...i have been in this same situation. He sounds selfish and rude like my ex turned out to be. Always remember not everything you see or hear on social media will be real or true. My advice is to block him on all social sites and every time you are tempted to unblock him remember the hurt and pain he caused you. You deserve so much in life; have hope, stay positive and it will get better maybe not today ....but someday patience is our greatest test!
CantLetGo
CantLetGo
Thank you for your kind words. Today, at 8:35pm CST, will be the mark of 4 weeks exactly. I hope one day I don't actually have the count like this.....it hurts. It's like an anniversary but not a happy one. I miss him almost ever second of the day. I'm trying to force myself to pretend I'm okay but it's a struggle. I just work, go home, watch tv, sleep...repeat. This long weekend will be a test for me and my sanity. Every ounce of me wants to roll around in the misery.....isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard? But it's true.
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
I know you wrote "don't just say 'stop looking'," but you also wrote "If I could do that, I wouldn't be in here asking for advice." Respectfully... You need to stop looking. Understand: Facebook is purposefully designed, with extraordinary computer algorithms, to be addictive. Facebook triggers the same receptors in your brain as does cocaine. I strongly recommend that you give it a rest. Start by taking the weekend off.