Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So I'm the one who is pursuing the divorce. I am a 40 year old woman without children about to sign an apartment lease and completely terrified.
It's what I want, I have a good job and we have saved money so it's not so much that as it is the idea of uprooting everything after building a life with someone over 15 years and hoping I'm not making a mistake that will send me into some horrible spiral in which I never get back to a happy or even comfortable place again. I'm not in love anymore, I've tried to fake it for a long time and it just didn't work. I've even had no physical interest in him for several years, but it's more than that too, he's lost me emotionally. Maybe I'm a horrible person for leaving a situation that's not horrible but how do you stay married to someone you aren't in love with anymore?
We haven't told any of our family or friends yet and have been faking it for a few months now. So I guess I tuned here in hopes of being able to communicate with other people feeling similarly. I usually just hold it all in. Yes I'm excited about the potential of the future but right now that's overshadowed by sheer terror of what's to come in the separation/divorce process as well as how to restart everything at 40 when you don't have kids or anything to really keep you motivated and keep high spirits.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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I think you are doing the right thing. And, better to do this now, while you are still young (yes, 40 is young!) and you don't have any kids, etc.
If you're unhappy in the marriage, chances are he is unhappy too. So, it will be the best thing for the both of you.
Maybe you two grew apart. That's common. You are not the same two people now as you were when you were 25 years old.
Divorce is never fun, but keep writing out your feelings, journal, and also make a list of steps you need to take next toward separating, the house, any bank accounts, etc. Start making a list, so it's easier for you to manage everything.
Let us know how it's going.
It was odd, there was no pain or suffering, just walked away and moved out.
I remarried way too fast, months later. It was a horrid marriage, and it ended bad, I was crushed for a while. I lost the relationship with her boys, who I loved.
But I did recover, and I am working on Being a better person and learning that I want a friend, not just a spouse.
I pray you are safe and healthy.
Change is scary. Emotions will ebb and flow. Imagine where you'll be a year from now. Will you regret this decision? I doubt it and if that's the case, you're making the right decision. Stay the course, give yourself space to feel all the feelings, and start to hope for the future.
There is life after divorce.