I posted last year about my horrible breakup to my partner of 16years. We were never married but lived like it and have 2 kids. He cheated on me physically and emotionally. When I found out he made things worse by blaming me, telling me every horrible thing you never want to hear from the man you love and tried to kick me out of our home. It was the worst time in my life. I went through hell, self hate, even to the point of suicidal thoughts. I didn't know what to do.Went to therapy and started talking to friends. It helped but I was angry at him beyond belief. I finally gave him what he wanted and moved out of our home. It was only 5 days prior to me moving out that he expressed any regret or mention of working on things.I was tired of living on the floor of my daughter's room, I needed to process the breakup and everything I was feeling.I hadn't really done that because I didn't want my kids to see me breakdown and I felt me leaving would salvage any hope of us being able to co-parent our kids.I left and I died all over again because now I was alone. We shared time with the kids but even that was difficult. I missed him so much but I was so angry I couldn't think of anything else. He tried to get me back but only if I would just forget things from before and move forward. He wanted me to get over it and I couldn't. I told him I needed time to heal. He took that as rejection and moved on.I found out he started dating someone a few months after and moved her in without telling me anything. He even lied to our kids about me knowing and they felt they had to lie to me too. Once I found out I flipped and was back at square one with the breakup depression, anxiety and blaming myself. How can a person who claims to love you for the last 16years move on so quickly? I don't understand that at all. He said he was confused by my reaction because he thought I was over him and he said I had him believing I was. Even though I never told him I was or that I stopped loving him. I never said anything because I was still too angry with him. Now he blames me for him being involved with someone else because I never told him I loved him still. He asked me if I want us back and he will get rid of her if I did. I couldn't believe what he was saying. He kept asking me how I felt and if I want to work on things then he'll get rid of the OW. I told him I needed him to put me first, make effort, prove I could trust him,go couples therapy, the whole thing. He said he would and told the other to move out. He told me she did but only to find half of her crap gone. I told him if he was serious then all her crap would be gone and there would be no hesitation. I caught him in 3 lies already and that bothered me so much. He had movie night with her day before she moved out half her things and then the next day be with me. I can't believe he could do that. I called him out on all his lies and he said the details don't matter only that the OW is gone. But I can't turn off my feelings about the fact he even moved another in after saying he loved me so. I'm struggling with that fact then he flips out, tells me he is choosing her because he is already involved and felt like he broke up with me all over again. I lost it, I cried my soul out and what's worst is my son witnessed it. I felt so rejected again and worthless. I told him why have me confess my feelings for him just to have him reject me again. Was it ego and trying to out me in place from leaving and he said no. To me he was choosing someone else again over me and I just couldn't understand how he could do that to me again. Once my melt down of misery stopped I decided I can't cry over him again. My mind and body can't go through that hell again. Next day I text him lets finalize everything once and for all.  He flipped, said he was mad and frustrated and had said it all out of anger. He told me he wants to work on us. I'm so confused about what his true intentions are. He finally put all her crap in bags in the garage but I still feel like our situation is tainted. He says that I can't be mad he found someone else and I didn't.But then tells me he loves me. Who says things like that. I feel deeply and all the details matter to me and things just aren't the same. Am I in the wrong for not telling him how I felt to prevent him from moving on? Was that my fault? Is it wrong that I'm bothered now that he's been with others and in the home we shared? Even my kids didn't want her there in the home but he didn't care how they felt and did it anyway. My son didn't talk to him for 2 weeks and my daughter just went along because that OW would buy her things. Now it's all messed up and both my kids tell me I can't trust him and I should move on. I don't know what to do. I still love him like I did before but I can't trust him. I'm so tired of crying over him, having all this anxiety about him and what he's doing and all of that but I love him. Am I just blind? Can I trust him? How does a person stop loving someone after 16years together? I feel so lost and torned down.