No, it isn't, but your outlook will change over time

I have at times a love/hate relationship with my stbx but I can separate the two now. I hate what he did to me and my son and I hate his disease of addiction. He is a lost soul and that makes me sad for him. I used to be sad for me and my son, but no longer. But I still love him...the part of him he is not in this moment and may never be again.

My anger has turned into compassion for him and love for ME. I deserve better and so do you AJ

The hate and anger serves it purpose but dont continue to live it. It will destroy you if you let it.

Your reaction is not a true reflection of yourself.
You feel like this because you are hurt, angry and feel somewhat rejected.
It is a normal reaction to have.

Think about it like this. If she wasn't happy with you (for what ever reason), doesn't she deserve to be happy none the less?
Don't you deserve to be happy too?

When my divorce was final, I texted my ex to let him know. I also wished him every success in his future.
He wasn't big enough to do the same back.
But my reasoning is, (no matter how much he has hurt me) I can't wish him a miserable life because he chose not to be with me.

Everyone deserves to be happy.
I am sure you will change the way you feel about this situation as soon as your blood pressure drops a bit.

Remember, she is also hurting (even though she is the one who wanted the divorce).
It's not easy for both parties.
She may also not know any other way to deal with her emotions towards you and the only way she knows how is to blow you off.
She is learning too.
Be patient and be the better person.
It helps your self esteem in the long run.

But in the mean time, allow yourself to feel agry, but don't dwell on it.

Lots of hugs to you.
Lizzy

Anger is normal and is ok as long as you don't hurt anyone. I hated my ex so much at one point but I still found myself worrying about her and missing her. I guess you hate what she's done to hurt you but you still love that person. I still love the woman I married, but not the woman that left me. The anger will be less over time. Take care.

Oooohhh.. I'm SO with you on this one!

No it's not wrong.. We've all felt that way at some point in this process. Eventually you won't really care anymore. Good luck to you.

Can you say anger stage for $1000 Alex. You will eventually get to a point to where you really won't care, unfortunately not anytime soon, but it does lie in your future brother!

What Soon and the others said. It changes over time. It happened for me, when I decided that I wasn't going to give him another minute of my time or power. I let him go so I that I could go. Hugs, Kimmee

I'm glad to know I'm not alone in thinking this. The way I see it right now is if he can't be happy with me, I don't want him happy with anyone else (or even alone). I want him to be as miserable as I am right now. Otherwise, I feel like 14 years meant nothing to him.

dunno still in the i hope his life sucks stage..

like i said waiting patiently for the indifference stage..

Oh cut yourself some slack. It's a process. We all wish the worst at one time or another, triggered by conversations and various parts of this horrible process.

I think you start to get to the point where you realize you are hurting yourself by hanging on to things, thoughts, reasons, assumptions, etc. Then you start to let them go and focus on yourself.

Right now, I want my ex to be miserable. Maybe that will change someday, but I hope he is having a hard time.

I so get this...I am being the "bigger person" in so many ways that I almost feel guilty for not genuinely wishing him well....He hurt me to my core....changed the future that I had mapped out....robbed our daughters of the family they deserve...and I love him so much - just not enough to sincerely hope he is happy....I know he doesn't care how I'm feeling so maybe its a defense mechanism - who knows?...but, yes I love and hate him...I get it....you are not alone.

I think it is a part of the healing process. I go through these types of feelings where I want my Ex to be miserable probably on a weekly basis. It comes and goes. For me though there is no "love/hate", it is more like "tolerable/hate". When he is tolerable everything is fine, but when the hate feelings come, I nothing but BAD thoughts.
Hopefully this will fade with time.

Stay strong and know that you are not the only one feeling this way.

I feel the same toward my wife, believe me.