I posted earlier about my breakup, but there's some weird stuff I didn't mention that is driving me crazy. When she first kicked me out she limited the amount of time I could move my stuff out, just a few hours on a Saturday. She made sure she had babysitting so I couldn't see the kids but insisted on being there herself in person although her dad (who was also there each time) could have easily handled it without her. Her dad by the way is her number one support and seemed really sad, embarrassed, and disappointed with her during me moving out. Keep in mind that she was "done with me" and "did not want me around". So why prolong the move?

And after I was done moving each time, she stood out on the porch with me for about an hour each time while I begged like an idiot and she screamed at me (her dad remained in the kitchen and didn't get involved, I think he was hoping I'd succeed in reasoning with her). She also told me that if we ever broke up she would give the ring back because she wouldn't want it, she still has it. During my begging sessions (still embarrassed about those) she agreed that I could still text her. Bizarre right? So, as not to be too clingy, I only texted her once a week on Wednesdays, still begged a few times and was assaulted by vicious texts back.

Then I got super polite and apologetic, which also made her angry and she accused me of "Jake Blues-ing" her to try to trick her into taking me back (a scene from the blues brothers movie where he begs princess Leia to take him back). I was honestly telling her about the positive changes I was making. Since then, I have remained polite, apologetic, and non-confrontational, while she continually pushed my buttons and tried to make me freak out. (Sorry honey, I'm not going to give you something to show your family and friends to make me look like a monster, all they will see is me being respectful and you acting like a petty, angry, child).

One Wednesday she acted like my texting was a problem. When I confronted her about it she said "I never said it had to be on a Wednesday and (get this part) I never said it only had to be ONCE a week!" Ok, what the hell? I'm annoying her by texting her, but please text me more? Finally, a few weeks ago, I had the final moving day and again she agreed to another opportunity for me to be around. She stated that the house needed repaired and I owed her money for anything she ever spent on my kids (I spent a lot on her and her kids too, like funding every Christmas, school clothes, birthdays, weekend outings, etc., but we won't go there, I'm trying to be a mature adult).

Anyway, so 3 weeks ago I was allowed to go over and spackle all the nail and screw holes my son had put in his bedroom hanging up his sword collection. At the last minute, 10 minutes before I'm supposed to be there, she cancels! But even weirder, she texts the cancelation, and then calls me too, first phone call in months, and she agrees to grab the supplies from me (I got there too early and stayed up the block so I wasn't being a creeper). So, she walks up, with the kids I haven't seen in over a month and the golden retriever she replaced me with! The kids hug me and talk to me, she talks (no shouting or meanness for once) but refuses hug "not ready yet", hmmm yet?

They let me pet the new dog, tell me its name, and let me interact with it. It's still a puppy, if you bought it to protect yourself from me, should you really be letting me imprint on the dog? (Just to be clear, I'm not that type of man, I would never hurt a woman or children!) So, she agrees to have me come over the following week and spackle. The following week, I spackle, she talks to me for a little while I do, nothing too mean a few minor jabs, then goes downstairs to fix the kids dinner. I purposely take a long time with the job.

Just so you know, she is highly capable of any household task, (hell, she replaced the driver's side seat in my car once, by herself, while I was at work, very capable!) She could have easily done this herself, especially after I handed her the supplies. Odd right? Anyway, I finish the 2nd floor spackle and (this is kinda wrong) I sneak up to the 3rd floor and check out our old bedroom (I know, I know its wrong). Anyway, so I had a whole wall of track and hook shelving with collectables on it, left the tracks up (so I wouldn't damage the walls), but took the hooks and shelves down.

When I went up there, all the shelves are back up and everything I ever bought her is filling all the shelves! While we were together it was all in boxes and never displayed! Also, no sign of a new man in the room (whew!). So, back down to the 1st floor, spackled nail holes in what was my office, purposely took awhile again. Finished the job, walked into the kitchen, helped her daughter put ketchup on her hot dogs and got her a glass of milk, she just turned 5 and she's the closest I'll ever have to a daughter, I dont mind being dad, her real dad passed away before she was born.

So, after helping the little one, she let's me stand in the kitchen and talk to her for another hour! No yelling (or begging) this time! One rough patch where I tried to tell her my work was going well and she said "see, things are going better for you now that we're apart, we weren't good for each other". I told her I wasn't ready to talk about that yet, she actually stopped and didn't bring it up again! I wanted to ask if she was trying to convince me or herself, but I held back. This week she wouldn't let me over, the day I could have spackled more her daughter had a doctor appointment.

So I haven't seen any of them since last Thursday, its rough, its the longest I've gone without seeing her. Supposedly this coming Thursday I will get to go back and spackle more. She seems to get a little kinder each time, less angry, but she seems to almost be forcing herself to stay in cold, emotionless mode. Her eyes and body language don't match her words, sometimes she slips and says something nice or makes a little joke, then catches herself and back to cold. She actually admitted that I seemed different and better than before, first compliment in awhile.

I had a weak moment this week during the full moon and texted her about the full moon reminding me of good times with her looking at the stars (it was much more romantic than that), no response, shouldn't have done it, I also purposely didn't do the weekly Wednesday text beforehand. Before the spackling days, during the moving conversations, some of her "conditions for seeing that I've changed included that I need to quit smoking cigarettes, and I need to get my own place and not stay at my parent's house".

If she's done with me, why does it matter if I still smoke or where I live? I also changed my work schedule so I could be available in the early morning if she needed help with the kids, the afternoon so we could have lunch break together, and early evening in case she wanted me to pick up the kids or make her dinner. Her response was prove it, which I did and she currently does not seem to care about me making myself a 13 hour work day out of an 8 hour work day.

She also stated that I wouldn't do it for long. And then stated, "well, what would happen if the kids and I got used to your schedule and then you forgot about us to hang out with other people?". What? I wouldn't do that! If we're done why are you worried about that? Anyway, last week I asked her about getting together over lunch breaks ( I want some one-on-one time to apologize for how I acted during the breakup, show her I'm becoming a better man, and try to get her to come back to me).

She said she'd get back to me about lunch breaks, I waited all week, she never got back to me. Finally tonight I missed her so much that I texted "hi, just checking in, haven't heard from you all week, how are you and the kids doing?" She sent back "great actually, living life". I don't know how to take that, on one hand, it sounds positive, on the other hand, her major complaints during the breakup were that being with me kept her and the kids from doing all the things they wanted to do (total bullshit by the way, they were always somewhere doing something without me) and I wasn't involved enough in their lives (I did turn some activities down, but sometimes wasn't invited, I also frequently was last pick for activities AFTER her family and friends).

So, positive comment or personal jab to be hurtful? Anyway, I played it cool and responded with "great! Glad to hear it!". I wanted to beg to see her this weekend, but I stayed strong for once. So, I'll see her again this coming Thursday to spackle and hopefully it will go even better? So, between the ring, the letting me kinda be around, the bedroom decor, letting me see the kids again, etc., is it really over? Do I still possibly have a chance? Until the spackle trips she was unrecognizable because she was so angry with me.

Before the breakup, she was honestly the nicest, sweetest person I've ever met. She's still being cold, but the facade is starting to crack. Do I still have a chance? Did anyone even bother to read all of this? If so, please help with your opinion, these contradictions are driving me crazy!