Sadly, I believe once a cheater, always a cheater, and I personally dont think the relationship could ever be the same again. There are many issues that partners should find a way to overcome and fight to save rhe relstionship, I just dont happen to believe that infidelity is one of those. More in the "game over" catergorty.

What's in Boston? A man could cheat in any city, so no, moving won't fix that part of it. You do need to think about uprooting your kids. Their schools, friends, extracurricular activities, etc. And, what about your family and friends, are they close to you now?

@Screwed_up took the words out of my mouth. once you cheat the thrill of deceiving your live with mate never goes away. i have tried to control the desire to sneak around on my boyfriend after being seen by him in the act in our bed. but still feel the need for excitement from time to time. i always say to AP i am in it for the thrill not because i am sex starved or emotional for him

When the trust is broken, things will never be the same again. You will become suspicious of all his activities, and most likely he won't change. Is your decision, and is difficult to discern if might be worth it. In my experience, being already on both sides of the same situation (I did cheat when I was younger and during my last relationship I was cheated) it was never the same after finding out. Sorry to hear that you actually caught them, it must be awfully painful.

Be strong, and maybe walk away and do not look back. My best wishes for you and your children.

@GirlinCalif There are big universities in Boston where he can teach again. They've been my pillar of support after the events that happened.

@all: thank you for all your words. It's really hard to make this big decision and I needed to hear a few words coming from the outside.

No relationship is ever the same after cheating. Being on both sides I can assure you trust is almost impossible to rebuild and with time things deteriorate badly. Resentment sets in, doubt is everywhere. Cheating is a major sign something is off in the relationship, it's wrong and hurtful. It doesn't matter if he will cheat again or not, you will never be able to fully trust him again. You have to make an important choice, move forward with the relationship or leave it. Good luck!

Cheating is a major sign that something is off in the dirt bag cheater

He will cheat in Boston , he may already have someone in mind

My BF cheated on me with his ex. He was still friends with her for 6 months, claiming that they were friends. Little did I know, he told her that I wasn't in the picture anymore. I found out, called her and found out he was sleeping at her house and they had sex.

I took him back. I was weak, I had no one else, a horrible job and no self confidence. It was a horrible mistake and now I'm stuck with him trying to get out.

If you forgive him you will, definitely, regret it. I promise you. You Will never think of him the same, even if you try to.

He hasnt cheated since I took him back... But do you think that makes me feel any better? I still feel urges to snoop. I still get insanely jealous of the girls he works with.
The trust was gone after he lied. After he told a the half truth but left out the worst part. Your sex drive has nothing to do with it.
No doubt he thought he wouldn't get t caught, and would do it again if he knew there was absolutely no chance of getting caught.
He is acting like he cares with his tail between his legs. He cares because he still wants to use you and you leaving will mess up the careful life of lies he built.

Sorry to be blunt. Maybe he is different. I doubt it. I am starting to lose faith in men in general.

New universities with new young women students with whom to have sex. Doesn't get much better than that.

I don;t believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater". I believe that even womanizers can settle at a right time with a right women. Man cheats when he does not get enough drive or an excitement with his wife. This is a fact. Sex is a driving power for a man, it is so important and motivating.... nothing can beat or replace great sex. Morals do not stop the man. This is a reality. The question is what a woman should do in this situation?
Try to understand why he cheated. Did you do your best to be his greatest sexual partner? Can you be the best? Think about how you can change your life after all you discover in your bedroom. Can you live with your new perception of him?
People make mistakes. If he does not want to divorce, why ruining the family. May be this family is not perfect, but still...this is your family. I personally suggest to everyone to forgive and move on on new terms. Can he cheat again? May be...depends on situation. If it happens, you will be prepared, you will be stronger.
You can just picture the situation when you both split now..how does it feels for you? What your day by day life be without him? Try to imagine your future. Then, make a decision.
Bringing the woman in to your your bad...is horrible..I can imagine the shock. But, it could be worse than that. For example, what if he left you for her?
Listen,,,let the time heal your wounds. I wish you to feel better. Let me know.

just SMDH at Biatta - can't find the words to call out that BS.

I agree 100% with tinaa and Biatta . I couldn’t say it better. Once a cheater NOT always a cheater. Do not avoid your part of it. Is good to ask and get advices but be careful. Not any advice here in this forum is coming from people with clear mind . Some are just expressing their madness of their life. Please be careful and patience. Is a huge decision how is gonna affect all your life and your kids life. Nobody can guarantee you that if you divorce with him you gonna find a better one who will be perfect with you. A lot of hugs .