Im sorry that you are in this place. First, let me say that those are normal feelings. But the reality is that with everything that you may have invested in that relationship and in that man, you are still a whole you. Now its just about finding those parts of you that you let fall away because you became all about him. He is not what completes you or even validates you. It may only seem that way because you gave away your power. But now its time to take it back. Seek God and ask for healing. Ask for peace and focus. Even, forgiveness. And thats for you, not him. Think about what you would like to see for yourself and put together a plan with small goals to get to that place. I know its hard to believe, but we have to hold on to the hope that this will get better. *Hugs*

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. I know it must be difficult for you right now, and it’s normal to feel this way. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will provide the comfort and help you need at this time. May He be the strength of your heart and your refuge. Hugs!

I agree with the first reply. Write out in detail what you'd like your next year to look like and then set some small goals to move in that direction. Hugs.

I do the same thing. My ex married a month after moving out. I sit and wonder if they do the same things we did. Does she make him laugh more than I did. I know it's tough but just think that she doesn't know him like you do. He is probably hiding things from her. Once she sees the real him she probably will leave him too. Find an activity to keep busy. It will help and maybe you will meet someone that will take some of your attention.

thiscantbeit - thank you for saying "he is not what completes you or validates you." You're absolutely right. The thought process tends to become so distorted after a breakup, that it's very nice to have that reminder! I hope you're doing well, and have fulfilling plans for the weekend. :)

lilstarsmum - I appreciate the words of encouragement. It's nice to know that people understand where you're coming from!

trueblue - you and thiscantbeit had a great suggestion. Focusing on my goals needs to be my priority. Again, distorted thinking gets in the way, but I'm really only hurting myself. GOALS...THEY NEED TO HAPPEN! :)

Lonestar - your response really resonated with me. I sit and wonder if she's more supportive, if he has more fun with her, etc., so we're having similar thoughts, and it's nice to know I'm not alone. Trying to keep busy, but I think I'm just feeling a little lost - as if I have no "greater plan/calling", or strong interest that I can throw myself into. Maybe it's time to do a little exploring.

Remember friend this is about him not you. I was married to an alcoholic for 21 years. They like the world revolve around them. When clearly you grew tired of his behavior and no longer put him on a pedestal he sought to manipulate someone new. My husband is a sociopath and has little to no ability at empathy so if he hurt me he never cared. This kind of person throws us way off kilter because we are trying to make sense or rationalize their thinking. You are wondering how you were not good enough but it was him not cutting the mustard all along. Just look in the mirror with love and repeat to yourself "I deserve respect and shall never again let someone that disrespectful impact my life" you are now wonderfully free to improve your standards. Godspeed dear Lady.