Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone I'm new so here goes, its terrible tale and I can't see a happy ending.
I'm 40 years old I've been happily married for 8 years. We had literally no major problems, I absolutely love my wife to bits.
When I was 19 I got into a long term relationship with a woman 11 years older. She was dead against porn! So obviously I still got it and just hid it from her. So after 9 years with her and me hiding my porn (brainwashing myself that it was totally taboo), we broke up and I moved back with my father. That was about 2008 so laptops and the internet had come along way and porn was at my finger tips. So I would masturbate 2/4 times a day. Then when I met my wife she was totally open to porn even suggesting we watch it together! But I was so conditioned that it was wrong I couldn't, and just continued to watch in private.
The worst part is I believe my porn addiction/compulsion led me to take upskirt picture's of my sister in law and mother in law! Just in the last 2 years. I found myself trying to do it whenever I could, I didnt even know why! Often I would delete the picture straight away. I hated myself for doing it. Eventually I was caught and it caused so much pain to everyone involved, especially my wife who believed that she was in a happy marriage.
To top it all off less than a week after everyone found out, I had a massive car crash and almost died. More or less forcing my wife to stay with me for the next year while I recovered.
It's now been 14 months since the crash and my wife has asked me to move out to give her some space and time to think. I am absolutely devastated. If anything has came from being caught it is how much I adore her and the thought of losing her now after all we've been through is driving me nuts.
I dont know what I want people to say? I feel like the absolute scum of the earth, I totally betrayed everyone closest to me.
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
there has been considerable popular press on the social impact of misogyny (hatred of women). misandry (hatred of men) seems socially blessed. poor girl. how right you are to hate the evils of men. never mind that harboring hatred burns holes in your soul. those evil creatures are worthy of all the hate we can muster.i have 5 brothers, 5 sisters and 3 sons and 2 daughters. i hold that misandry is...
The best apology is changed behavior, and maintaining that change behavior for the rest of life, whether you end up remaining in your marriage or not. Obviously, this situation has harmed you a lot more than it has satisfied you.
As an addict, I give you kudos for being honest here. That is the first step. This is something you have to fix within yourself, no matter who is around you.
Have you spoken to a therapist? Marriage counselor? Maybe even an addiction meeting?
I spoke with my wife today and it was hard! We took the dog for a walk. I talked and cried! A lot but she was very calm and understanding and it kills me that I disrespected her and her family as I did. And I'm crying my eyes out again now. she doesn't know what is going to happen but she says she can't really see how we can go forward from where we are, as it's always going to be in her mind at every family occasion every time we're intimate! I cant do anything to take that pain away.
Your wife seems to be taking time to learn and process her own position. it's important that you just work on you and moving forward. I know it's scary, but you can get there. Sending you gentle hugs.
SO if you work it and it does not help you and you NOFAP challenge, during that time you still gain, The worst thing that could happen is it helps and you are a better person because of it huh.
Reading about others success over self helps to see you are not alone in this fight.
I challenge you to read the bible for 5 minutes every night for 90 days to prove me wrong, to prove you can read something and not grow, to prove you cant replace the poison in your mind with something good.