don't let it eat at you. explain it to your daughter. tell her how the situation was out of control and try to discuss ways that everything can calm down before it gets like that again. Apologize to her also.

I know it's hard to explain things to young kids, but they do have ways of understanding.

do you and your wife discuss how to handle her outbursts? You really have to be on the same page - whether it be time out or a punishment of some sort. Something has to be consistent for her.

Don't beat yourself up over it. It can be fixed

Mamalyn said it sooooo well. No one is a perfect parent. Anyone who has had a kid act out spitefully like your daughter did today, may respond in anger. I know I have responded in anger with my oldest child, who used to be so incredibly difficult when he was younger. I'm sure his behavior stemmed from how his father treated him and me. I apologized and asked for his forgiveness. I'm not sure if he even remembers the incident, but I do. I also remember what he did to cause me to be so angry. We are human.

Because your daughter is acting this way today does NOT mean she has been 'messed up'....there is always hope and I have watched my own disobedient kid change right in front of me. No, you are not an abuser. You are a good parent who made a mistake, like the rest of us... Just apologize and explain why you were so upset and how her action made you feel. Give her a big hug, ask for forgiveness from her, and move on.

Sorry you had that moment today. Being a parent is hard as hell sometimes.

It sounds like there are a lot of angry people in the house. Please don't do that again to your daughter. Hug her rather. Then when it's all calm again, tell her why she can't do that and why you can't do that - make a promise to each other and stick to your side of the bargain while she takes time to work through her side. Sorry to be so judgmental

My dear friend. You have come to a crossroad. It is time. You have never hit your children before and this is a symptom of the bargaining you have done when it comes to your situation. It is time my friend and now, it is time for counseling for your family and decision making. I am so sorry...truly. We are here for you. I understand all too well the repercussions that come with the death of a relationship. It affects all and it is impossible to cover it up from the little people in our lives. Love you.

The overriding message I gave to my kids about the divorce, was that when things have really gone wrong, it's time to do something to change things.

It put a possitive spin on the divorce. And I hope sent a message that they will follow in the future.

Kids fall a thousand times learning to walk. But no one will ever ask you how many times you fell before you learned to do something. The same is true with kids learning how to deal with their pain and frustrations.

Hugs.

I have been there brother. Years ago with my boy I lost my temper and spanked him hard enough to leave a serious red mark on his behind. It was flat out wrong and I cried for hours over it.

I know how that guilt feels and it just sucks. I hate being human somtimes.

I just tried to move forward, own my behavior, and in the future remove myself from a really emotional situation as best as I could. No easy answers but rememeber that even very good people make bad decisions sometimes.

First: "I messed my kids up". No. When you say that, you are putting THEM down.

Second: One incident. Not a pattern, not a way of life. A kid may remember one incident, but a single incident isn't what messes a kid up. Living in a state of fear, that's what abuse is about.

Third: you were responding to violence, not misbehavior. A glass ornament can cause real injury. The situation demanded prompt, decisive action to prevent people from getting hurt. Not that striking the kid was the right prompt, decisive action, but you had to do something.

Clearly, you aren't about to start doing this on a regular basis. You aren't out to terrorize and control. You aren't demanding to get your way. Find peace with yourself so that you can go on to react in a better way next time. Because living in guilt is likely to cause you distress that interferes with your ability to think on your feet and respond creatively to problems. I think if the situation happened at a less horrible time in your life, when you had some emotional energy to keep your wits about you, you would have been quicker to think of a good solution. Not an excuse, an observation that may help you do better next time things get crazy.

Rman when she's sixteen and stays out past curfew or sneak the car out for a joyride just remember the debt has been paid in full.

The sun will come up tomorrow.

Good Luck!

Why did she ask you to deal with her? Because maybe she was going to smack her too.

Sit down with your daughter and explained what happened. Apologize.

You are not a monster, just a caring parent who is overwhelmed at the moment.

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Don't beat your self up so much! Like everyone has said, you made a mistake, which is very human. I think you know what needs to be done, as far as changing things with your wife..which is what this all stems from. I do hope you can get support for your daughter. Her school may be able to help. Big hugs my friend!!

Where in hell did your 6 year old daughter learn to call her mother a stupid fuck and then to follow it up with violence in the first place? One person said that children mirror the behavior of their parents. Whom is she mirroring here?

rman... i know it's easier said then done.. but don't beat yourself up about this... unfortunately beating our fragile egos up is something we do better then anyone else... your daughter was out of control... you had to stop it and help her regain control.. she's still a baby in reality and has no resources built in to help her gain control back easily...we've all done things as parents we would love to take back....you feel guilty as hell right now as all parents do when we screw up something in handling situations with our children... she will be fine... if that's the worst thing you ever do to your daughter in all this mess .. you will have nothing to be ashamed of

z is right.. it sounds like you need to make some really tough decisions in the near future... the anger and sadness that you project in your posts about your family is going to be soul destroying if something doesn't change

big hugs to you rman ... this parenting thing is never easy .. how the hell did our parents manage it : )

The only certain thing about parenting is that you're gonna make mistakes. Don't we remember the times our parents messed up? Yep. Do we love them less? Nope.
I remember once yelling at my son on a very tough day, the look on his face was so hurt I sat down on the floor and cried, and he sat with me, just waiting for a hug. I held him and apologized so much. Then we talked. I'll never forget this....
Take it as a learning opportunity and hug her. Really tight.... Love speaks louder than mistakes.

If you think that, a lot of time spending together, by you and your wife with the kids should follow, showing love giving hugs,etc.

(((Rman))) We all screw up and so things we shouldn't do. Like every one else has said, sit her down, apologize to her, tell her why it was wrong for you to hit her and why it was wrong for her to treat her mother that way. I also agree that it may be time to make the move one way or the other. I think counseling for her would be a very good thing. Her school may even offer free counseling. Stop beating yourself up about and move on from it. It was a mistake. She will forgive you much faster than you will forgive yourself if you talk to her about what you were feeling at that point!