Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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imiru 03/27/2017

to start, I am single and have been enjoying the single life of casually dating and learning more about what I really want in a relationship. However, recently I started casually seeing one of my ex's and I tried to keep it at just a friendly level but it escalated into friends with benefits. I'm happy he's changed his attitude, has more patience, has been working on his anger. But he still keeps hinting at how good we are together and often brings up how he wants to be a dad, get married and all that.

I want the same things, mostly, but after the history we had I am still afraid of his temper, how he treated me and the fact that he walked away for no good reason and left me with nothing but questions and an emotionally abused heart.

Also recently I have been thinking about another ex from years ago who reconected with me. He lives very far away so we can only chat through skype and facebook. But I feel so comfortable and happy talking to him, I can still remember how much I wanted to marry him a long time ago before we had to split ( he got a job offer and I wanted to finish school).

I have told both that I want to stay single till I figure myself out and they say they understand but they both keep hinting at how much they miss me and it hurts. I feel like I'm cheating but I'm not even with anyone. Should I just back off completely from both till I fully understand what to do? What can I even do?

Mem 03/27/2017

Our relationship at always looks rowdy. Make a list of want th3y keep telling you they want from you.. Are they just stringing you along so they can have control over you again? Deep down you have already answered ur own questions. Give yourself space
Find out you are what you want and stop going back to ur exes...ts easier to o fall back into bad habits rather than pushing through the hard stuff to find the real you. You are strong you can do this x

anna_bella.tt 03/27/2017

Them missing you is their narrative, and has nothing to do with your own story and how you feel and what you want. Backing off for a short while gives clarity... allows you to hear yourself away from what they think and what they feel, which sounds like its influencing you and confusing you. Your decision should come from you, not what from anyone else wants of you.

Nick2017 03/27/2017

yah i agree with anna.. screw them (not literally :D). If all they think about are their desire and not taking into consideration of what you want then they are just f* selfish. Truly if they care for you, they should just hang with you side-by-side , be there for you all the time regardless of what you do. then when you are ready to settle, and you will know when...they would be there for you to fall into. That is true love.
And it's ok to stay single forever.. it's away from the hard-ache of a divorce down the line. look... marriage is overrated.. its f* nuts. It's for the insecured and weak minded. Mostly men like it bc of exclusive unlimited free sex and cooking. Women wants it for security, money, and ..love? (i guess i dont know) i would stay single forever and if can. it does not mean i wont have kids.. i would.

sh39 03/27/2017

Friends with benefits only works if both people are on the same page. If one person wants sex once in a while and the other wants a full relationship, it's not fair to either person to continue. The longer it persists, the more someone is going to be hurt. yes, you told him you don't want more, but he keeps pressing so he is clearly not hearing what you said.

There are plenty of other people in the world to choose from. These two are exs for a reason, and honestly if you start up the relationship again, it will probably slide back into the same bad habits that were there before. You're much better off to seek out someone new.

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