sorry...

but the "i love you, but i'm not in love with you" is a cop-out line.

Care for the person, but no longer want to be with them..

i've never been told this, but i think it's a nice way of saying they no longer feel the same way. they don't wanna make it work. they don't wanna try again. it is over.

Theres not really anything nice about this line. I was told this, after thinking I haven't heard this yet, so maybe there is still hope.
He told me he liked me and still cared about me, and was enjoying seeing me every few days, but didn't want to be married to me anymore.

I heard this and it meant i'm already banging someone else while i love you, also. It was months before i discovered the affair. It meant he didn't have the balls to say he was cheating. He continued to text "I love you" and "I miss you" while having the affair... It means they are fucked up and making crazy choices.

I have not heard this, but I would agree with RedR and it was most likely said that I love you as someone I have known, but I am not feeling enough for you to give of me to working things out. Why, most like cus of past behavior Bj pointed out as well as hers but mostly, cus her emotions and feelings are with the other dude.

grass is greener over there, so to say.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but my exhusband and I went to marriage counseling for a year, and ended up in a 3 month trial separation and both of us said it to each other, because it was true. We were willing to make it work. It just didn't work - in terms of a marriage. In terms of a family, friendship and affection, it's still very sweet. I suspect it will always be that way.

For my stbx it meant he wanted to sleep with my best friend but still be able to come home and get some from me, live the lie we had been living for years. For him it was a total cop out. He didn't want to face the consequences of his actions.

I heard it right after I informed my stbx I wanted a divorce. Then she proceeded to tell me that she had'nt been "In Love" with me for 7 - 10 years. Although we were married for 27 years this told me I made the right decision and it's time for me to move on...

I want to be more than a paycheck and security blanket to the one I express my love too...

anybody ever get back with there ex after this was said, any body want to get back with there ex?

Cougar, I can identify with what you are asking. Been told last week that the love isn't just there. However, after reading the responses to you, I think what they are saying to us is that its over and need to move on. Know this is very hard. I'm with you. But I am working on a way to get over him and move on. I think you need to as well.

I guess I should have thanked him for letting me know.....I think I did, a little later , since he was allready involved with someone, but my definition of love and his were different, in mine, and he knew how I thought from the get go, after 2 years and infatuation doesnt carry you anymore, you have a different deeper love, he opted out....his perogative, yes Im glad we werent married....
It doesnt matter but I know the grass did not turn out to be greener...

to me it meant...I don't love you the way I did when we got together or the way I love the guy(s) at work I am banging. I love you the way I love that sweater I've had since college and can't get rid of. I am too big of a coward or too lazy to learn to love anyone in different ways, so I'm just going to screw as many people as I can until one of them tells me they love me instead of treating me like the one night stand that I am.

And you can quote me on that...

@ daddy, yeah that sucks, he didnt love me the way he used to....
aka....Im banging the welfare bartender , because she wont question my drinking and tell me I need to go to the doctor and work out and take of myself the way I used to, since I turned 50 and am having a midlife crisis...and she is 15 years younger and everyone knows her and Im the lucky one to get her....she is celebrity of the dive bars.

It is just what I told my husband. I know you love me, but I need you to be in love with me. or there is no us