he's 40, dumped me for 21yr old who on their second date brought two other women home for bedroom fun time

cougar....you can't take what happened to others and say THAT is what happened to ME! SHE LEFT! She's EVIL.....

You are a recovering alcoholic that 'faked' a drinking binge when you two split.

You told 10 and 12 year old children it was THEIR fault mom wanted out. (explain all you want, they're kids, they are going to hold this information)

You broke into her email.

You STOLE her phone and obsessively called the man she was seeing.

You went to her place of employment, I would assume not just once as this resulted in a restraining order.


You were threatening to find a way to stop her from using a cabin that again, I assume she owns a piece of. (hello? restraining order?) Divorce is in motion, you don't exclusively own said property til papers are signed.

I'm taking a wild stab in the dark and saying you are NOT taking accountability for your actions!!! Stop and look at YOUR part in this and stop trying to pin the whole thing on her.

yup, he texted me the next day to let me know he had A good night

Bitter AI am trying hard to own up to the things I have done and my kids are everything to me,She told me on the first day you can have the kids the house everything she just wanted out to play with her boy toy and I knew this all along.

You love your parents, your children, and your friends, but you are not "in love" with them. You care about their welfare and their lives and their happiness, but you don't do the nasty with them....

and again, you had no part in this.....you got up every day, went to work, supported the family, little league on weekends, and was Ward Clever? Perfect in every way?

OWNERSHIP OF OUR PART.

Yeah, my wasband had a lady friend.....okay a few. I was not the perfect wife. I KNOW what I did. I know how MY behaviours affected him, what my actions were that helped HIM make his decisions. I didn't make the decisions for him, but I know the things I could have done differently. I screwed up in a number of ways.

Take responsibility for your own actions, focus on what you can change, which is YOU. You can't slap a label on her and everything works out tickity-boo. You can only address your actions and attitude.

I am working on that Bitter, But I will say this we have a great house I don't smoke, drink or gamble. we were 5 years from financial freedom (house paid for cabin paid for great job)

Meaning of the comment: "in love" and love are two separate and totally different things.....when we meet somone we fall "in love" and, the book i'm reading, says that it usually lasts about 2 years for that feeling of being "in love" to fade. Then comes real love, if you choose to stick around...real love comes when you know them and you are still willing to hang in there with them. Once you love someone like that, you don't stop loving them. So i think the true meaning is I love you, but I don't like you anymore. There are plenty of people in my life that I love, but do not like at all.

That's great, I own two cars, am in the midst of buying my own house, and have no debt, I have two teenagers, one of whom is an international level world champion athelete, they both speak two languages fluently and have fabulous grades.

My ex is a manager at a huge organization, and I'm relatively high up in my company.

What does that have to do with anything?

@Froggy - Ouch :( That had to have been unimaginably painful. I'm really sorry you had to deal with that.

Bitter I will get to the point if she would have talked to me and told me what she needed , I could have given her shat she needeed, but she just mup and left.

i believe love changes. when we first get with this person, they are we could think of. you could not wait until the next time they called you. you would go places that you never went before. you did not have what i call real life with them. i feel this is what happens when a affair starts. they can`t get enough of each other thay don`t have to deal with real life. it is all good. and then they come home to the spouse that tells them that this needs to be done or we need to fill out the bills. real life is just not as fun as the fantasy life . that is what i love you but i am not in love with you means. both my ex`s said this after the affairs were on the table both. it is a easy way out but i believe they really mean it. dumb asses. i think that maybe the only thing that they tell the truth about. and then when the new rubs off they always want to come back to real love . can you tell i hate this saying. i will shut up now

I'm fuckiing someone else but I stiil feel a little guilty about it.

I think it means IF I see you again Ill wave hello. My wife recently said that she wanted to live the "single life" which means to me I want to date whomever whenever without feeling guilty by looking at you. I thought she was my best friend. My heart is broken and its hard to move on...but she has. For example the kids are over their fathers house for the weekend I work 3rd shift I arrived at home about 645am to a empty home a yr. ago she would have never done this and would had ridiculed any woman who did it to her man.She told me yesterday that she would give me a recommedation to any woman any day with the claim that Im a good man loyal and devoted man.She even stated that she would hook me up if I wanted. 7yrs. of marriage taking on 2 young children faithful and understanding with a open door policy and I get this. I love her so much its hard to explain.....Im ruined.

Yup, I heard something to that effect as well. (He crafted the words a bit more originally, but the content was the same).

What it meant was: I'm done. I will not give you, me or US the opportunity to own our crap (individually and together) and try to work through it in order to honor our vows and feed/cultivate the 16 year of love that still exists between us. It is easier to delete you and those years from my existence and move on without you. He was, indeed, done.