When I found the marriage license to the China Doll

When he went on a business trip for four days, and stayed with his "partner" for a month.

the first time: when I said I wanted a divorce and he said "good because I'm tired of the havoc that you cause in my life and your constant failures" (thanks Mr. Cheating-alcoholic-abuser)

the second time: when after 20 years and 2 kids together he tells me he's no longer cares about my pain, he's forgiven himself but if I want I could be his 'weekend girlfriend'

When I learned she had an affair and was packing to move in with the guy in another state. This took 4 days...today was the day she moved out.

When he thought the computer was more of a love machine than I was..
When I found out he stole 3 months of cash sales from our business.
When he lied that he was going to a business seminar for 3 days but stayed with the online wife for a week -and he used my mother's car to get there, and had me make the reservations for him and get him directions to get there.

Or maybe it was when he just became a lump of shit.

Wait, it's over?? Nah, not really.. she's come back. She will. Yup.



*sigh*
I should have known the marriage was over when she had a random panic attack and called him for support instead of me.

But technically, our relationship hasn't ended, it's just changed. Who'd have guessed we'd be better friends than spouses? (Not all that great friends mind you, but better anyway lol)

The day after my birthday cuz I couldn't take being hurt, neglected and ignored anymore. Techniclly it ended before that, but that finished it all off.

Should have realized four years ago when he lied to me about going to a friend's house to work on motorcycles. He went to a Christmas party because it was a female co-workers birthday (his own friends ratted him out--called the house to see where he was). I think I knew it then but was in denial.

Fast forward a year--when I found the hotel card in his wallet.

When I said to a friend...if we weren't married and met randomly on the streets at this point...I don't think I would even be friends with her.

So many things should have told me it was over.. years before I left.
My aha moment?
Maybe when the car was repossessed. I had no idea it was behind, he'd cashed in his 401k to pay for bills and none of them were paid.. Still no idea where all that money went.

The final one was when he told me he had nothing to contribute towards bills because he was going out of town for a friends wedding, he was making more than twice what I was and had just been paid. It would be the second time in as many months that he would have left me behind to answer for unpaid bills.

I realized he was circling the drain and nothing I did would change that. So I chose another path.
And nearly three years later.. I can tell you it was the hardest and best decision I have ever made.

when he said im-ed me to tell me he was going to meet another girl.
and not to call and disturb him.

pathetic bastard.

reading this stuff makes me feel so sad. i love you guys, and im so sorry you've all had to endure the emotional pain that came with these situations.