Be prepared. From my experience doing online dating, on and off the past four years, I never met a guy that didn't have some kinds of issues from ANY site.

I might meet one who has kids (check) but then find out they don't actually see their kids.
I met a guy who called me a race trader because I like Usher.
I met men who said they were single and it turned out...not so much.
I met men who were very critical and visited their baggage onto me...If women in their past acted X way, then they assumed I would too, and would provoke arguments for no reason.

Mind you...this is over 4 years time. The current guy I am with I met through a friend, and it already has been much more promising than any of the men from the past.

With online dating, unfortunately, I think you need to keep your expectations low. Lots of people looking for sex, etc...just be prepared and take care of you.

pof will most likely not yield you that either. I joined there as well a long time ago, and while I was looking for women, its a sess pool for both genders.

I believe many dating websites have become inundated with those who are just looking for sex or are not so right for dating. I would suggest trying meetup.com especially since you say you may not be ready. meetup.com is more about getting with a group of people with similar interest, getting together and doing those interest. Like hiking, biking, comedy clubs, etc. You can meet people and make friends or maybe even meet someone. Ive been fortunate for both.

So be careful on pof... or any free dating website, there are some crazies out there. be safe

yup - I have to agree POF is garbage - and I am not sure that the fee based sites are that much better. If you are not ready I suggest you still get out and mingle b/c it helps tremendously but pace yourself. If you force getting involved w/someone on a romantic level, since most of them are crappy candidates anyways, they may even make you miss what you had or make it appear better. I support the meetup site as well.

The problem today is that we can't totally reject online dating (I so hate it) - b/c we decrease our chances big time. There aren't many candidates at work (not a good idea at work) , church, etc.... I do hear that some cities have great single groups at their local churches. That may be a good choice also.

Good luck :)

Isn't POF like the cesspool of online dating? Yeah, pass. If you aren't sure about being ready? Then just keep working on yourself until you are more sure. The last thing you need is to get wrapped up with anyone else when you are still dealing with your ex and all of that...which is the case if I recall your posts from late.

Wow sheesh, glad I read this thread.

The idea of shopping for someone is intriguing, but... people lie about themselves straight up. It's easy to project something online, I could see where deception sets in off the get-go.

My head and heart agree that the best way to meet people is organically. Meetup seems to be closer to organic than dating websites... BUT, I'm nowhere near where you guys are and I am already lonely.

Lonebuck - people will be like the tv show "Catfish". Actually send pics of themselves, then when you meet....it's a whole other story.

Or they forget relevant info like..."oh yeah...I havent worked in two years".

I think the biggest thing is the sex. People saying exactly what they think you want to hear, but it all boils down to if you will have sex with them or not.

Totally agree with you about meeting people organically.

Plenty of Fish is notorious for casual hookups. If you are really interested in meeting someone worthwhile, join Match, or something equivalent. OKCupid is alright if you're looking for the artsy types, but most of them are very immature. I've met a few people from both sites. I did online dating for awhile. The only reason I stopped is because I realized I wasn't ready to date in general, not that I was meeting terrible people. If you still have strong feelings for your ex, my advice would be not to date at all right now. I waited, and I met someone through friends. I don't prefer one to the other, it's just all about timing. However, Plenty of Fish would be the last website I'd join.

OMG, that is so terrible.

I guess it makes sense though in this world we live in.

If I have to do this down the road it's going down like this:

1) Library
2) Church
3) Ughh, Maybe I'll go for a PhD or something? School
4) Meetup
5) Friend/Friend Blind Dates
6) This website

Is it really that bad? What the heck kind of people are browsing for sex? Oh yes, I know. The type from the other thread that that is all they talk about!

Lone - you would be amazed at how "nice" and "sweet" people look...and then it's all sex, sex, sex.

I'm telling you, online dating is a buffet, so people take as much as they can, Additionally, bear in mind if they are "interested" in you...they are interested in others.

For sex alone, there is always Ashley Madison (affair dating site). Why dont people just go there. This website is seriously just for hookups. Married or single i dont think it matters. At least its out in the open what you want.

TTMI- Holy cow, you sure have dated a lot.

Really? That looks like a lot for four years?

Interesting.

TTMI- "I think the biggest thing is the sex. People saying exactly what they think you want to hear, but it all boils down to if you will have sex with them or not.
"you would be amazed at how "nice" and "sweet" people look...and then it's all sex, sex, sex"

Yes, both men and woman usually like sex. With the exception of rape, sex is a mutually agreed act. There isn't anything a woman could say to me that would make me have sex with them....if I didn't want to.

It's up to the adult to weigh the costs of engaging in sex with someone. Healthy people take ownership of their decisions and do not blame their former sex partners for their choice to engage in sex.

I have zero idea what I said that brought on that response. I was stating that there seems to be an element of people who are ONLY looking for sex partners and don't intend to have a relationship, on those sites. You can say you want a relationship, etc..and people are good at "looking good" on paper, then it boils down to the real reasons, in SOME cases.

I didn't say anything about holding former partners against new people...

Jesus. You come at me over the weirdest shit on some of these posts.

If that's a lot I must be a whore then

Well, that's what's on the bathroom wall anyway