There are people here to talk to. Its going to be Ok. I wouldn't have moved out. You can go back into the house. He can't kick you out that fast.

Its so complicated. I have lived with him since last year. I didnt work. All i did was make sure everything was taken care of in the house. And i also made sure he was always happy. I was always there for him. No matter what he went thru, i was there. He would go out with his friends, and i would patiently wait for him at home. I never went out while being with him, not even once. Until one night (friday night) i decided to go out dancing with my brother and cousin. My ex got so upset. I go home, fell asleep. And woke up the next morning to a text from my mom asking me what i was planning to do because my ex didnt want me in the house anymore. He had sent her a paragraph long message saying that i needed to move out asap. And he didnt know how to tell me because he knows i have no money and no where to go. So that morning, my mom picked me up and i moved to her house with my grandma. Mind you, i have a 3 year old shihtzu that just had 3 puppies. So i had to take them with me as well. I have been spending the last few months looking for a job. But i do horrible in interviews because of my anxiety. I get extremely nervous and i come across as socially awkward. My life was so different before i met him. And once i made things serious with him, things changed. I dont what to do. Im desperate. And i have no energy or drive to do anything. All i do is cry. And i have no girlfriends to talk to. I cant really talk to my mom because she'll just judge and say "i told you so." Im so lost

This is why you don't make your partner "your whole world"...because if they pull the plug you're left shattered. Kudos for your mom picking you up and letting you crashe with her. But now I would take this time to either further your education or get a kick ass job. And don't ever put yourself in a situation where you're financially dependent on someone else, you need to be able to take care of yourself Before getting into relationships!!

I was actually going to college and working when i met this guy. I dont know why i didn't continue doing my own thing. I dont need someone telling what i shouldve not done. I know exactly what i did wrong. I made the person my everything. And now that we are done, I feel like i have nothing. and i understand. I know i'll feel like this for awhile. It just so difficult

Well then don't come on an advice site seeking advice..

@kbbcoop77 your comment literally made me angry. I don't think anyone goes into a relationship fully aware that the person will become their world.
I relate to her post, and me before meeting my ex was independent and had no care for needing someone to take care of me. But after being with someone and building a routine you feel safe, so you stop being independent and just become comfortable to be able to lean on each other.
You aren't giving advice, it isn't even constructive critism, you're just being mean to someone who's hurting.

I am sorry to hear about your distress. I can relate because I have a lifetime of breakup experiences because of the same trait. I get so engulfed in supporting/caretaking the other person I lose tract of myself. It happened again last spring. :<( I would encourage you to: 1. develop a plan to get back on tract and recapture your goal of becoming an independent person. 2. Your mind can only think of one thing at a time so distract it. Listen to affirmation and self help vids and tapes on youtube. You can download them to your smartphone. 3. Join a support group .... maybe CODA http://onlinecodameetings.websitetoolbox.com/categories Be patient with yourself. Good luck.

I agree with kbbcoop77. The tone may have been harsh but the message is completely true, in my opinion. If someone goes into a relationship with either the ability to completely lose themselves, or unknowing if they will completely lose themselves, they probably weren't emotionally healthy enough to be in a relationship in the first place. Not judging, I've been there too. A relationship is made up of two different people working together. How can that exist if one of those people loses sight of who they are as an individual? It's very romantic to say that "two people become one", but that isn't reality.

There is a huge, world of difference between independence, dependence, and INTERDEPENDENCE. You should not be DEPENDENT on your partner for anything. Sure, there are perks of being in a relationship, like stability or someone to lean on in a time of crisis. Everyone has different values and priorities for what they want OUT of a relationship vs. what they are willing to put IN. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's just a fine line between a benefit and a reason.

I'm really sorry that this is happening to you. Trust me that I know this is really difficult. All you can do now is pick up your pieces and try to get back to you. It's normal to get lost in love and lost in the person that you see as your future. Love is consuming! As much as we want to ball up and die, we can't allow ourselves to stay stuck in this place. Maybe try looking into counseling to help you to deal with your situation. Right now, it's not about fixing the broken relationship, it's about fixing you. This way, you can move forward. This process is hard. And you will be told again and again that it will get better. Because of how you are feeling that seems impossible. I know. All I have been able to do is continuously bring my heartache to God. I can only speak to my own experience here. I need to believe that this will get better. You may want to look into taking some B12 complex vitamins too. When we are dealing with heartbreak our brains are processing it like a physical injury and causes our stress levels to grow. This causes an imbalance. The B12's help to fix the imbalance. I'm not saying it's a cure, but it may help. Truth is that as much as we may wish for a magic cure to take this away, unfortunately, there are no quick fixes. We have to process, deal, and heal the right way. That can be different for everyone. You are not alone. *Hugs*

Mutually reliant on each other is interdependence, both parties would be relying on each other. Hence a relationship. One person relying on the one that independent would be dysfunctional.
Which goes to my first sentence. No one goes into a relationship thinking that they are are going to become reliant on that person. No matter how strong of a person you are to start, shit happens and the way we think and the things we do shift. Peopl grow and change constantly; so do our priorities and values.

Right. Interdependence is healthy; either extreme outside of that, not so much.

Sometimes our priorities or values change towards the unhealthy. That's why I, and probably a good majority of the people here, are here. Most likely it was someone else's changes, but that's neither here nor there, really.
Change is inevitable. It's what we do with those changes that makes the difference. If the way I think or something in my relationship changes to where I am now in an unhealthy place, whether it's dependence or whatever, or even if it's a healthy change of priorities or values, it's up to me to realize that and act accordingly. If I'm not capable of realizing that or not capable of acting accordingly, then I probably shouldn't have been in the relationship in the first place. Like I said, I've been there. I lost myself in my partner, and it's basically what ended my marriage. I became someone who I'm not, and I either didn't realize it or refused to do anything about it. And I've been on the other side. My partner had a drastic change of priorities, and while it hurts to be left, she did it the right way and I respect her for that. I can't argue with change.

This is the unhealthy part: Just because people or situations change isn't an excuse for not being responsible for your own actions/lack of actions. I bet there are more than a few people here who that would say just because their ex's priorities or values changed, they still should have treated us the right way, done the right thing and handled it maturely, respectfully, and healthily. How can we truly love if we don't expect the same from ourselves that we expect from our partners?

I know women who, over and over grab onto a man and make him their whole world, then he leaves and she does it all over again with someone else------Never figures out she needs to take care of herself.
I think coop's advice was not mean and was for future relationships. I totally agree with him and not in a mean way. It took me 25 years before I figured I needed to start taking care of myself instead of a man who was only interested in himself.