Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
His response to my email.
here you go.I had to respond after giving lots of thought to what you said.Yes it`s good in the beginning it always is but as it goes on. I should have a special feeling for you that never goes away.An that feeling was is that you are special ,sweet, pretty and so good to me how could I say no to you.But I did. You asked me to marry you one day. An I said no( I have to ask you). Right then an their I knew that wasn`t the reason. An I should have been honest with you an said I didn`t feel it.You once said to me why won`t you marry me and I should of told you. But I never had the heart to tell you because you was so good to me.I think I was trying be optimistic an hope that the felling would come one day but the truth of the matter is you feel it in the very beginning.Do you remember the day I saw the prettiest ring an I sent u the picture of it .The reason why I never bought it was not that I didn`t love enough or I wanted u to loose weight it was because I just didn`t have the feeling enough to take that leap.I think you are a better looking girl than Nicole .But some how I have a feeling about her. Not to say I will marry her but it is possible.I think your better looking but their is a different feeling.An the Lord is my witness it`s not the devil`s work. That comes from the heart.An thats why it`s not all about looks.
Do you remember when I said to you.You have until 12/12/12 to fit in that dress well guess what I stuck to it .An yes you got pregnant so I gave you an extension till February.But I would have found another excuse if u lost the weight.You always said to me [you don`t want to marry me] an you was right I just never had the heart to tell you because you was so good me an I believed the Lord did send you to me. I always wanted it to work but I couldn`t get that doubt out of my head.It is hard to live without you but deep down inside I knew this day would come and you an I would hurt for from my decision. I tried for a long time to tell myself you was the one but somethiing deep in side would stop me an the biggest excuse I could come up with was( I`ve been hurt before) that was always my way out. An I should have never looked for a way out.But I always looked for a way out.An that was the problem I should never had looked for a way out.But because you was so good to me I couldn`t help but try to ge good back.I think that was the hardest part you was so good to me I couldn`t help it I had to be good back but I was just returning your kindness.I couldn`t help it. You did for me so much I could never repay you.An that`s why I will always love you.It`s just not that love to make the biggest leap of all.The Lord is watching over us and he knows I tried.An the devil did do his part but in the end it was all my fault.Because I should of never let it go so far.I was scared to break up with you. I didn`t want to loose a good thing.An that was selfish on my part I see that now.I will never forgive myself for being so selfish an putting us both threw this.
here you go.I had to respond after giving lots of thought to what you said.Yes it`s good in the beginning it always is but as it goes on. I should have a special feeling for you that never goes away.An that feeling was is that you are special ,sweet, pretty and so good to me how could I say no to you.But I did. You asked me to marry you one day. An I said no( I have to ask you). Right then an their I knew that wasn`t the reason. An I should have been honest with you an said I didn`t feel it.You once said to me why won`t you marry me and I should of told you. But I never had the heart to tell you because you was so good to me.I think I was trying be optimistic an hope that the felling would come one day but the truth of the matter is you feel it in the very beginning.Do you remember the day I saw the prettiest ring an I sent u the picture of it .The reason why I never bought it was not that I didn`t love enough or I wanted u to loose weight it was because I just didn`t have the feeling enough to take that leap.I think you are a better looking girl than Nicole .But some how I have a feeling about her. Not to say I will marry her but it is possible.I think your better looking but their is a different feeling.An the Lord is my witness it`s not the devil`s work. That comes from the heart.An thats why it`s not all about looks.
Do you remember when I said to you.You have until 12/12/12 to fit in that dress well guess what I stuck to it .An yes you got pregnant so I gave you an extension till February.But I would have found another excuse if u lost the weight.You always said to me [you don`t want to marry me] an you was right I just never had the heart to tell you because you was so good me an I believed the Lord did send you to me. I always wanted it to work but I couldn`t get that doubt out of my head.It is hard to live without you but deep down inside I knew this day would come and you an I would hurt for from my decision. I tried for a long time to tell myself you was the one but somethiing deep in side would stop me an the biggest excuse I could come up with was( I`ve been hurt before) that was always my way out. An I should have never looked for a way out.But I always looked for a way out.An that was the problem I should never had looked for a way out.But because you was so good to me I couldn`t help but try to ge good back.I think that was the hardest part you was so good to me I couldn`t help it I had to be good back but I was just returning your kindness.I couldn`t help it. You did for me so much I could never repay you.An that`s why I will always love you.It`s just not that love to make the biggest leap of all.The Lord is watching over us and he knows I tried.An the devil did do his part but in the end it was all my fault.Because I should of never let it go so far.I was scared to break up with you. I didn`t want to loose a good thing.An that was selfish on my part I see that now.I will never forgive myself for being so selfish an putting us both threw this.
I've never had a weight problem, but to give you a "timeline" is freakish and controlling. People who blindly accept things upfront...then make it an issue later 9like weight) are assholes. If a thin, fit girl was what he wanted..and you were not that exact mold...he shouldn't have bothered to begin with. It's shallow, yes, but the BEGINNING is when you bow out gracefully over "shallow" things because, to do it later, makes you look like a douche.
He placed all the "blame" on you, then justified it by saying he tried. Tried what? Tried to develop feelings while using you to pay down his debt? He's a prick.
I know it hurts, and, yes, it feels like he robbed you of six years, but walk away and don't look back. He's not wortth your time. Someone who can use another person for SIX YEARS is not someone you should hook your wagon to.
Who knows..
Take his response and value it for what it is worth it to you not the value any one else may put on it. You have always stood by the fact he put his fair share in to the relationship and you and tried. He shouldn't have cheated, no. I do not condone anyone entering any kind of relationship with another person as long as they are tied to another. He should have gotten out of the relationship with you before that happened. Not come in afterwards, in hindsight and then tell you exactly what he was or wasn't feeling. True. A very selfish thing to do. But I think he was comfortable / content with his life, with you and whatever was going on at the time. He shouldn't have gotten so comfortable and dealt with the inevitable sooner then later. But how many people can really say they do that? Shoot, many of us stay in relationships for far too long , certainly longer then when we even know better. Its always about, "what if".
you got your letter, your closure and you closed the door by telling him there would be no more contact. You are handling it how you can, with grace and keeping your head up. Continue to keep in that direction with your head up high.