Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I met this woman on line about a year ago. We talked on the phone every week for a long time before we met in person. I could tell she really liked me. Our first date went really well. But I did not call her for three days after that. Mistake. She would not answer my calls after that. I tried for three days and then gave up on her. I was really sad but I told myself the message was clear. There was another woman who wanted to date me and she was beautiful so I moved on. Three weeks later I sent her a message on Valentines day and she replied. I replied but then I never contacted her again until a week ago. I dated the beautiful woman for a while but it was so empty. I missed the other woman. She was not as pretty but I could connect with her. She was special. But I did not see that until much later. I stopped seeing the pretty woman but then I got sick and that went on for three months. Now I am starting to feel healthy enough to date again and I miss that first woman. As I said, she was special. I contacted her and she responded well. We talked over the phone for a week and I asked her out on a date this past weekend. She agreed but then she got laryngitis and could not speak so we put off the date until next weekend. On Monday I posted a romantic song on fb and she clicked she liked it. So I wrote to her about it. I said dont you think this is a beautiful song? I am glad you like it. I have always known you are a very sensitive person (she is an artist). Then on Tuesday morning I sent her a Snoopy cartoon saying Happy day! and I wrote I hope you feel better. She did not reply. So I wrote to her again at night on fb which is the way we communicate. She has not replied to any of these messages and its already 11 pm Wed. I could see she was on line for a long time on fb. Maybe she is really busy. But how long does it take to answer a text message? I am really confused by what appears to be her change of mind. Before she replied instantly. Now she does not reply to my messages. I am so sad. I really like her. And things were going really well this week. And we had a date!! What happened? Was she turned off by my cartoon or my comments on the romantic song? Did I come across as too eager? What should I do? She told me she was not seeing anyone. I am very sad because I have not liked anyone in a long long time. Only her.
I have a male friend who's, shall we say, different. He cares about me, and I know this. However, he often doesn't respond to messages from me. I've grown used to it, but I admit that it hurts my feelings at times. It's hard not to take it personally.
On the other hand, there's a man who sends me multiple texts daily. I know that he's interested in me and he's a kind person, a good friend. But its gotten to the point where it's clear that he wants something to happen and I've started avoiding answering him.
My inclination with man number one would normally be to assume that he's trying to give me a hint by not replying. However, I've known him for over a decade and my relationship with him is complicated. He tends to shut himself off from people and push them away, and has admitted as much to me. I am too proud a person to pursue someone who's not interested in me, so I back away from him.
Yet, I must say that clearly I AM trying to give man number two a pretty clear hint that he's not welcome to send quite so many messages. I would outright tell him, but I'd rather do so in person at some point, as I feel that I need to convey the message with no ambiguity, and I feel that he deserves a proper explanation (he's lovely, but I'm not in a place where I could get involved with him at the moment).
It's possible that she is like the first man I mentioned, and backs away. Or that she's somehow trying to give you a taste of your own medicine (i.e. your not calling for three days) and to play it cool. Or barring those, that she's not interested. But if I were you, I'd lay low until you know each other well enough to talk about it. If you ask her why she's not responding, believe me, she'll back off even further.
I've grown to hate facebook with a seething passion, by the way. :p
I totally get your quandary with the pretty woman and the one you could connect with not being so pretty. NOT. Sounds very shallow to me.
I think if the chemistry was there on the first date and you dropped the ball about getting a second date, she probably crossed you off her list.
It's a lesson learned that when you find someone with that chemistry, ask for the second date or call the next day. Otherwise it can feel like you didn't call for a while, no one wanted to date you, so you called her back as a last resort. Good luck in the future.
you're probably correct with your assumption that she has lots of acquaintances who constantly message her. Don't let yourself get too bent out of shapeif she doesn't immediately reply. I suggest you "kick it old school" and pick up the phone and actually CALl this wonderful woman. She would most likely appreciate the effort.
and remember the queen of hearts is your best bet!!
As for this one, give her a call tomorrow just to confirm your date. If you hear back from her, great. If not, you have your answer. Move on.
It's so hard to see maybe I'm just jaded from where I sit... after 17 years of marriage good marriage he is cheating..and we are ending..
But can't see a mostly email relationship being worth the anyxst... if it is hard now.. later it could be dreadful... If it were me I'd cut my losses and let her come to me..