If I may add my two cents...God always answers, it isn't always what we want to hear. Being patient and waiting on His timing is so very difficult. I speak from experience. LOL Just because you met on a "Christian" site doesn't mean everyone on there has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And I do agree with namaste02, you have to learn to love yourself. You have to know who you are as a person. Sometimes life just sucks. I know this site is awesome for support, so I hope you find what you need to get you through. :)

Just a word of warning about Christian Mingle: I work with a woman who is recently divorced. She met a man on Christian Mingle, and it turns out he goes to the same church as her and he's very MARRIED! Even introduced her to his wife in church one Sunday! Be cautious.

Hi Frustrated: When you go on dating sites, you're going to have to step up your radar and also not "fall" for anyone so soon. You do that so you get a good chance to learn about them, plus you can take their photo and run it on Google Image to see if something similar appears elsewhere under a different name.

You have to set up protections and boundaries for yourself. Go online and begin looking up the best way to date online and how to protect yourself when dating online and you'll find lots of info to help you for the future. Good luck and hugs.

Just an update. He came over and we talked last night and we both cried for about 2 hrs. I trully believe he loves me. I may be nieve but I do. His exgirlfriend that is pregnant is 45 and didn't think she could get pregnant. She is not happy about it either but he says they didn't have a bad breakup they just decided it wasn't working after a year. He had been apart from her for several months and then went back to help her move out of their apartment and they messed around. Not responsible, I know. This was before we met so I can't blame him for it. He feels it is his responsibility to go back but he loves me. He is torn, Im torn, we are both hurting. My heart is broken but if it were me, I would hope he would come back and help me with the baby, I guess?

His priorities elude me. Tethering himself to someone he doesn't love for the sake of a un-gestated fetus? That no one intended to create in the first place? Way more drama than sense here.

This reminds me of my childhood, when people who detested each other and acted out horribly to one another in dramatic and horrendous ways.... stayed together for "the children."
They weren't dong anyone any favors either. I always think we will learn and we do not.

Adventures in masochism. This is not responsibility, this is self immolation. Since neither parent wants the child, he/she would be better off placed in adoption. The mother is incredibly stupid if she actually believes she could not get pregnant at 45 and dumber still if she thinks this is the way to hold on to a man. Oh.... wait a minute: having an unwanted child as leverage has worked AGAIN. Albeit in a limited way. As always. Always.

The coming child will bear the brunt of this irresponsibility either way. No one sacrifices without rancor of some kind. I feel sorry for this not-yet-a-child already.

Ps Christian Mingle? Might as well be Adult Friend Finders. CM is bad news.. draws all the sheep right to the loves.
Avoid CM and Eharmony. Same guys looking for credulous fools in both places.

So when he came back to you last night, did you too "fool around" too? It's time to put him in your rear view mirror. He has other priorities and they are not you. He just can't be "that special guy" for you.

You're only hurting yourself if you keep involved with him. Do you think the pregnant woman wants him still involved with you? So it sounds like he may be running back and forth between both of you.

Stop it all and discontinue contact with him. This can't go on and you can't allow him to do this to you. You have to set healthy boundaries for yourself.

I'm sorry you're hurting but I have to agree with the others--his whole story sounds fishy to me.

They broke up, he helps her move, they "fool around"--I don't know about anyone else on here, but I've moved many times and the last thing I want to do during a move is have sex. In addition, he has told you she has "mental issues"--why would someone go back to a person with mental issues?

His whole story just has too many loose ends. You are better off without him.

I agree about Christian Mingle--it's like most of the other sites. Yes, there are Christians on there but also a whole lot of people who probably can't spell Christian, much less act like one.

Be cautious, go slow next time. Don't lose faith.

Hugs!

Sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I hope that you will be able to meet someone who is right for you and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Don't give up, search and look for someone in places or at events that you would find someone who would treat you good.

There's been some great advice here and I so hope you read all this and reread it again and again to let it sink in really well. You have your whole life in front of you and you don't want to waste it with someone who doesn't really care about you.

Now figure out what you can do today that will be fun and something you will enjoy. Fix your hair and makeup and look great and get out there and have a fantastic day. Many hugs.

Any way that this unfolds leaves you as at least a second priority in his life. I do commend him for honoring his obligation to his unborn child - wish more men would step up to the plate when this situation arises. Can't fault him for that. But I could fault him for continuing to try to be with the baby momma, if that is what he is choosing. That's a recipe for disaster, since they had already decided it wasn't working before the little "miracle" came along. Do you really want this guy to dump his responsibility to his unborn child to be with you? What would that say about him as a man? Face facts: you are not his priority. His priorities lie elsewhere. Cut him loose and find someone who will make you their priority.

This post bothers me. I haven't replied till now, and I really feel the need.
I was married to a man for 37 years. The last 15, I was NEVER a priority. I was like 2nd or 3rd.
Since he died 10 years ago, I am NOT doomed to be alone

Living alone, for me means doing what you want, when you want, and who you want to do it with. I would NEVER trade my life to be 2nd priority, ever again. I am first priority and going to stay that way. I am to busy doing what I want to do.

However if you FEEL you are doomed to be alone, I am sorry for you. I guess you will.

Thanks again for ur comments. I guess i thought i really found someone who would love me but with him moving back next week, guess it wasnt ment to be im just tired of hurting and being alone. I just dont think i will ever find someone who really loves me. Maybe im not ment to. Im tring to deal w him leaving.

I'm with #5

Feel for you. Myself have problems but I look at it in a way that you just should relax. Forget about trying to have relationship and just concentrate of dating. The less you want get married or have relationship the more man wants it with you. resist any commitment at all.