Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

1 Online

frustratedar 03/27/2013

I havent posted in a long time. I have met a wonderful man finally. We have been inseperatable since we met. We love each other deeply. He moved here a few months ago and we have been dating for about a month. He just told me his exgirlfriend from out of state is pregnant and it is his and he loves me but has to move back because it is his responsibility. I feel so hurt, not mad. I truly believes he loves me and he said they had a lot of problems when they were together. How can this happen to me. About two years ago or so I was married for a year and my ex (now) told me he was leaving me to go back to his exwife. Spring is just not my time of year. I am destined to be alone. I truly believe God sent him to me. I could have settled along the way with another man, but wasn't in love. I really love him. Life sucks, love sucks. Im just so tired of trying

deleted_user 03/27/2013

Actually, you seem to get them just after their spawning season. And haven't unprotected sex with other women isn't exactly the smartest thing to do because--it creates pregnancy.

So this guy wasn't the one for you because before you he was out there having unprotected sex with women he has short term relationships with. Now that crashed into your relationship and shut it down. Flash to the future and see his photo as a baby daddy that has 10 kids by 10 different baby mamas.

Chances are he won't stay with her. Don't let him come back because you need a responsible man who wraps his package. Plus knowing he was unprotected (and you don't know with how many), you don't know if there are STDs involved.

It's time to move on and set the bar higher for a better man.

llmt 03/27/2013

Can I say me too...we can start a commune. Thing is, while it hurts now, you will be better off. Nobody is worth it....nobody.

sandysan5743 03/27/2013

He moved to be with you a few months ago? How long had you been in contact prior to his move? How many months pregnant is this woman? It appears to add up that he was sleeping with her while pursuing a relationship with you. I hope not, but if that is the case then you really averted a land mine. I know it must hurt, but maybe he wasn't the guy you thought he was.

deleted_user 03/27/2013

I always knew God was an Indian-giver.

frustratedar 03/27/2013

Just to clear a few things up. He didn't move here to be with me, we met after he moved here. And he had dated her for a year before he moved here.She has been trying to get him to come back and he said no. She wouldn't leave him alone. I don't know if she is faking it to get him back or if she really is.

Blindsidedagain 03/27/2013

."She has been trying to get him to come back and he said no. She wouldn't leave him alone. I don't know if she is faking it to get him back or if she really is"

Sounds like he is bullshitting you.
When a man tells you he loves you so quickly BEWARE.

He would not go back to her (pregnant or not) if he did not want to be with her. He simply wants to appear honorable to you on his way out the door.

Where did you two meet?

deleted_user 03/27/2013

Wait.

He's going back to raise the kid?

Or

He's going back to be with her AND raise the kid?

deleted_user 03/27/2013

i second Blind: beware a man who says the love word before he even really knows who you are.

something sounds really fishy about this story. keep your guard up.

frustratedar 03/27/2013

we met on christian mingle. I assume he is going back to be with her and to raise the kid. we are meeting tonight to talk. I kept texting him until he told me what was wrong. He was going to wait and tell me in person. He has been telling me she has some problems (mental) and was afraid she might hurt herself. That was before she told him this. I am just really hurting. I am 39, a teacher, and I have a 10 yr. old. This is not my first relationship but it seemed so right. I have really crappy luck with men, I guess. I am caring and compasionite and just want to have a normal loving relationship with someone. Maybe I am just to nice and caring. Seems like tougher people get relationships that last. All I have had is men that cheat or leave me. Maybe I don't pray hard enough.

Blindsidedagain 03/27/2013

"Maybe I don't pray hard enough"

Oh dear, your God works in ways so mysterious, I wouldn't even contact him.

Your guy 'picker' seems to be off.
Is there any particular pattern in where or how you meet these men?

deleted_user 03/27/2013

the next time will be better. just you watch. :)

namaste02 03/27/2013

How about having a normal, loving relationship with yourself first? Self worth is not measured by being in a relationship. Find you, and let him go.

frustratedar 03/27/2013

thanks for all the comments. I am just having a really rough day today. Tomorrow has to be better. I have to be strong for my son and me. I guess I just really hoped that I finally had somebody who really cared about me and my son.

deleted_user 03/27/2013

Well... you did, and I am sure in some respects, still does. He just is either running away, or the higher hope is... accepting responsibility for his actions.

charliegirl29 03/27/2013

It would probably be a lot easier if people did not throw out the word love and then do whatever in the world represents the opposite of what they are telling you. While it is nice to assume that this guy wants to be responsible to a girl he (is/was) in a relationship with no matter what the problems may be between him...its never nice to be caught in a situation where one person has unresolved feelings for another and to me he fits this scenario more so than anything in my book. I highly doubt the girl is pregnant but I cannot really make this assumption based solely on...the girl has mental issues but I would bet when everything else didnt work..she used the pregnancy tactic to get him to come back because she knew he would take the responsibility...........sorry you had to endure the heartache.

Join the Conversation