It takes time and you are working on your healing so that is very good. Rejection is a terrible thing to go through. It makes us question our value and worth. From now on, see her as a business associate - in the business of mutual child care. Don’t tell her she is beautiful and don’t wallow in her beauty. Try to be objective and see her character and personality for how it really is. Something was wrong in the marriage or she just wants different and maybe you need to stand up for yourself more and praise her less. Being rejected can be a huge hurdle to get over but maybe this is more about her and less about your lack or not being good enough. Look into Divorce Care groups. You matter, too.

Thank you. And I've been looking. I try to see her in that light. I actually feel awful cause i feel like im being mean and short and I've come so accustomed to being nice and loving to her. So it's hard and I wanna be friendly but it's hard on me cause I just get false hope. I'm trying alot of self care things it just feels like each high is followed by a lower low than last time.

Thank you. And I've been looking. I try to see her in that light. I actually feel awful cause i feel like im being mean and short and I've come so accustomed to being nice and loving to her. So it's hard and I wanna be friendly but it's hard on me cause I just get false hope. I'm trying alot of self care things it just feels like each high is followed by a lower low than last time.

Does it have to be either you are mean and short or you are nice and loving? What if you are just your real self, feeling how you feel? Of course, I always say be polite and respectful but false hope is kind of a terrible thing in my opinion. Maybe just be yourself and if you feel like she is screwing you over, just be business like. Try to stay out of the high highs and stick to the middle. When you feel low, acknowledge this is normal and part of being rejected. This stuff is like a roller coaster some time.

Your wife is telling you that she wants to leave and that there is no hope for reconciliation. This is big (it happened to me). Please take her OFF the pedestal that you have her on. She is not perfect. You are not perfect. We are all just human.

All that being said, most people don't leave long-term relationships without having someone else lined up. I hate to say it, but the odds that she is cheating are incredibly high. 90%+ I would say. Maybe it's not true in your case, but.... it probably is. It sucks. Look for the red flags.

Let's step back and look at your best course of action. I would think it looks something like:
1. Always put your child's interests first.
2. Take care of yourself and work on self-improvement in all areas. This might cause your wife to change her mind but I doubt it. In any case it improves your future life post-divorce.
3. Treat your wife with courtesy and kindness, but you need to build emotional separation due to what SHE has said she wants.
4. Interview one or more attorneys (reach out to friends for references) to get an idea of what divorce might look like and how it will affect you all. Be very careful with the financial aspect. You might have to take action now to protect yourself.
5. If she is 100% done with the marriage then you really need to accept that and steel your mindset. Adopt the right steps to move forward. Reach out to close people in your life as needed for support. Reach out here and in other support groups as needed. Do the above steps and make sure that you are thinking about your FUTURE life while you are suffering through this change.

I've been there, going through what you are. Stay tough, stay rational. Your life is going to improve. It could take a year, or two, or three. But it will. Stay on course and you will find new hope, new happiness, new goals. It all feels so bleak when you are in the middle of it. I wish you all the best!

Starts with your mindset

Do what's best for the kid.

Keep emotions out of it with the ex

Work on yourself and being the best you and showing that to the kid

Lawyer up and be ready

So......

I am sorry, you are going through this. It is truly heartbreaking and I have been there. If you click on my profile, you could probably see the posts I did with the updates over my situation and maybe it will give you a little bit of peace. I recommend you work on yourself and do not beg. Her or try to reconcile at this point. I won't lie, It takes a while to get over the hurt, especially when you have been left by someone you love. It's been 7 years since my divorce. And I still get down about it once in a while, But that being said, I am doing very well and my ex.-wife is miserable. Not that I wish that on her, but that is the way it is.