Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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guitarwes 05/29/2009

Ok so...

My stbx dropped a bomb on me 4 weeks ago when she told me she wanted to split.....then told me she is seeing someone.

I gave her the apartment, everything in it. Moved in with my parents but she lives in the same building. She PROMISED me she would not have him over...

Promised, obviously she know\'s nothing of the meaning..as with our vows.

We\'ll today she told me she wants to bring him around because she might lose him if she has to continue "sneaking" around.

So, she dropped this on me, when im at my all time low, already partially suicidal...and now this?

Does she want me to just off myself? Honestly, This has been totally crazy...the last month has been a blur. I honestly had no idea anything was THIS wrong.

Sorry i just had to vent, im not sure how I would reacte if i were to bump into them...how do i keep my composure? Honestly...fuck.

deleted_user 05/29/2009

deleted_user 05/29/2009

please tell me you are in counseling....

NotReady2BackDown 05/29/2009

your being too nice, i dont mean be a jerk but i feel like she knows your at a very low point in ur life and so she feels like "hey he dont care, I can run over him come more since he gave me apt..." you have to stand up for YOURSELF, no one is going to watch over you but you. If ur still helping with bills (which i hope ur not) then stop, her new bf can do that, you dont owe her nothing no more. *HUGS*

guitarwes 05/29/2009

Currently I am not. But after today, i think i am going to go.

The anger and pain are getting almost...unbearable to the point that Im not sure how to control it....

deleted_user 05/29/2009

call a crisis line....they will listen....does your employer have an Employee Assistance Program? DO IT TODAY!

Melin2 05/29/2009

Tell her you don\'t give a flying flip if she loses him, SHE CANNOT BRING HIM AROUND!!! Is your name still on the lease? You are being too nice to her. She cheated on you and you walked away from your apartment and everything in it? Go kick HER out! Take your apartment back, let her find a new place to live... FAR, FAR away from you.

guitarwes 05/29/2009

You know whats sad?

She texted me last night asking if i had any pencils and erasers. She\'s a fantastic drawer. So i scrounged around to find her some....turns out she was drawing something for her new fella.

How pathetic do i feel?

Sad part is her and i did a 1500 MILE relationship for a year, which was amazing. I was never happier (excpet when we finally got together after a year) and this guys having problems after a month? Does she NOT see whats going on?

She acctually told me today.."I dont want to lose this..." thats the reason i should be OK with him coming around. Fuck her.

No more mr. nice guy, the sadness is gone, its all hatred now.

Melin2 05/29/2009

And find a good punching bag to let go some of the stress!

guitarwes 05/29/2009

Melin: Trust me, i regret that day every day. She would have had no choice but to move 1500 miles away back home and THEN...I would have had my peace...sigh

deleted_user 05/29/2009

I agree with Z, and really hope you get some help soon. There is nothing wrong with getting the support you need right now! Hang in there.

pemdcat 05/29/2009

I pray that my X hooks up with someone...that way she can chew on his ass.....

if she is running around on you he will be next...so if you bump into the just look at him and smiles....and say you\'re next...then walk away...... leave him wondering.....

Melin2 05/29/2009

Do you still have a key? Are you still on the lease?

If you don\'t have a key but you are on the lease... tell the leasing office you lost your key. Call the police and tell them your wife locked you out of your apartment and won\'t let you in. You can get back in there.

And IF her name isn\'t on the lease... put her clothes on the front porch, change the locks.....

deleted_user 05/29/2009

its digusting the way she is treating you. Im so sorry for that. Remember how worth it you are. Another window will open as lame as it sounds. It wont always be bad. And she doesnt deserve you. Keep your head up .. ever need to talk message me and Im not just saying that. Message me for real

guitarwes 05/29/2009

I was stupid enough to take my name OFF the lease and have her sign it alone. I have a key yes.

I was so depressed and down that I just let her walk all over me..no more no more no more.

Honestly something snapped inside today, something broke. I think that last strand of "hope" or "love" that i had left..gone with the wind..or the hurricane?

deleted_user 05/29/2009

Welcome ((guitarwes)). I am so sorry that she is treating you like this and also glad that you have already realized that you are in control of whether to keep letting her do that or not. That shows me something about your abilities, that even when you feel so broken, you find your truth. It doesn\'t help the pain necessarily right this minute but it shows me, that you have strength. You reached out to us, you realized you needed to talk with someone and you found them. I am so glad that you did. Call someone before you ever feel low enough to want that pain to stop permanently. I feel that you want to live, you just want to stop the pain, and we understand that so well here. But that is not going to help you this moment. If you have family or friends pull them close right now to help you deal with this additional pain. There is no weakness in reaching out to us, to a crisis hot line, to family right now.
Please keep on talking with us here. WE care. We have walked this path and so many of us have felt exactly as you describe when we found out about the other person in our ex\'s or stbx\'s lives.
As bad as it feels right now, it won\'t always feel like this. I can promise you this, because life is fluid, and if we give it but a moment it will change. You have to wait for that change to occur, and until it does, talk with us, let us walk with you this difficult new path. We can do this together. I know, because I have and many others here have. Big healing hugs, Kimmee

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