I too left an abusive situation...sooner than I planned as things escalated to fear for my life and children. I'm not looking back,only forward :)
I'm happier and freer than I've ever been in my life.I am a good person and deserve better than he ever gave I or our children.Peace of mind has no pricetag....it's better than all the money in the world ((((hugs)))

Guess I should have put "sex" in the title to get people to respond. LOL

I didn't want to be in my relationship any longer. But I did not and could not have the courage to end it because I thought he needed me (boy was I wrong!) Anyway, he was into drugs and other women. So, when I realized this he kicked my a$$ in many ways then he dumped me. Oh well...what can you do...live and learn. Atleast I am able to leave the house and have friends now.

He left me. Oh wait ...Dumped, trampled, sh!t on, kicked, threw out...etc.

I was dumped my a druggie...yelp, I was!

I was the first to ask I guess. Straight out ask him to help and He did not want to work on it.
So I ask him the simple question if he still was in love with me and want to be married? He said no, that was enough for me. I know it was heading that way, but it still blindsided me when it happened.

He was the one that filed when we got back from vacation. I found out just before about the OW, but that was after I asked. It was a hell of a family vacation.

I ended mine, not so much by choice. He told me for 15 months or so he didn't love or want me and our son (was pregnant when it started). So the last time he told me to leave and he didn't want me, I had decided I was done, tired of listening to it and the verbal/emotional abuse. Plus he was a horrible father to my son, and didn't care for him properly while I was working or not home. He worked from the house and scheduled his time where he had to be gone so we didnt' have to put our son in daycare, bad mistake.
So I called my mom and left him on Thanksgiving day 2007, he said good bye like it was nothing. He had 2 weeks notice, I moved across the country to live at my parents house with our/my son. I filed, knowing never would, he's too cheap, had the attorney before I left the state.
I have no regrets, know I've done the right thing for myself and my son. We are both better off now. I still had a hard time dealing with the recovery process, but I'm doing much better now, he did all he could to hurt me during the divorce process, but it's over now, since 8/26/08!!!

I'm pretty much in the same boat. I ended the marriage, thought I was fine because I was free. A few months later had a date, then feelings and other stuff with someone who probably could have cared less about me for almost 2 years.

I now suggest people to take time to try to heal their hearts before offering themselves so quickly and easily to someone else. We go out looking for someone to fill the space that has been recently vacated and the rebound person is looking for something different with someone who has room to become accustomed to being with them not the old spouse.

It's a hell of a thing trying to heal from 2 heartbreaks.

I left my first husband after 14 years of him drinking, getting DUI's, cheating and being an overall loser. I was ready to leave about 3-4 years before I actually did because the kids were too young to have to go stay with him. I am not sure why it even took me that long.

I finally met the man of my dreams - and I realized that a person could really be happy. Now after 14 years he is ripping my heart out - and it is ending without us even talking about it even though we talk every day.

Life is so strange. Never again.

She initiated the end of our marriage so it was a shock to me. But guess what! 6 months later she is the one wanting to consider trying to get back together, not me. So I don't think it matters who initiates the divorce. I kind of think she did me a favor!

I was left

Noticing it was the rebound loves that kicked a lot of our asses! Newbies, take notes NO REBOUND LOVES!!! Heal first as Jac Jac said. Just say No!! Until you are healthy and strong enough to handle it! Wish I would have known then what I know now, famous last words!!

We are living parallel lives. I had to initiate the end of an abusive marriage. Then I had a rebound/transition almost two year relationship with a cheater and had to force that to end.

Now I feel like it is time to quit trying. Sigh

She left and filed, but I would have if she didn't. After her cheating the second time it was enough.

Maggie you do have to quit trying, just never quit hoping!! Things happen when and the way they are supposed to happen. Ours will come some day. Just try to have fun along the way! It is a numbers game. Meet lots of peole, be yourself and make them convince you they are worth you giving them attention.

ya know happy, that's really good advice for anyone!!! Right on Girl!

I did. He clearly pulled away from me, with no explanation. Left me physically (always away for work) and emotionally till I found out about the other woman. He said we could fix it, but didn't make any effort. When it was clear he was choosing his independence over our marriage, I filed. Now he's mad and hurt. But still not willing to make any changes in himself. When you realize they're "gone", it's time to go yourself. Only way the wond will start to heal.