My STBX wife initiated the divorce back in March. Little did I know she was thinking about the divorce for about 2 years prior to telling me in March. Now she is delaying the process, as well as her lawyer, since she still has no job and doesn't pay the mortgage. So now I have to finish what she started and end this awful relationship.

She never apologized, never thanked me, and never had anything positive to say. And she never listened to my side or opinion. Now that we are nearing the end (I pray), it's gotten more difficult. Knowing I won't see my son every morning and night. So I've removed any family photos I had in my office and delay my return home at night (yes, we still live in the same house, due to market, house hasnt sold).

she left me.

I probably deserved it. I tried hard to be a great husband. But... I wasn't always the best I could be I guess...

I think when you are the one to leave, you have process time before the fact. When your spouse leaves you--you are in shock--so it takes longer after the break up to feel as if you are healing.

My spouse asked for a divorce.

I am recovering.

Well; my stbx would threaten divorce a year before we actually seperated. He thought it would change me and make me submit to him. Well that so didn't work. Then a year later I asked him what he wanted to do; this is after many failed attempts to go into counseling. On Sept 17th 2007; I asked him the question; he said he wanted the divorce; and that there was someone else. Gee no surprise there! That's all she wrote.........

Good for you for leaving! You don't deserve abuse!

I was working out of town for a couple of months. A week before returning, I called and told her I could not wait to just be with her and work on all the aspects of our relationship. She told me she had rented another place to live. When I came home, she was moved out. An experiment she was calling it. I furnished her new home, continued to pay all of our bills as well as giving her considerable sums to continue doing anything she wished, as I had always had. I learned that a man I had asked to stay away from my family was spending nights at her new house, I felt I had no choice but to change the way the experiment was run. From that moment on, she has hated me. I would have tried to work it out. I still would, 18 months later. I just don't tell her anymore.

Guess in most cases both know there are problems then it boils down to how much you can take and who cracks first or becomes strong enough to say no more!
I think the ones that hit the hardest are the ones you don't see coming. Like my last. Thought WE were happy no complaints on either side then WHAM! Chick on the side and not really wanting to be in a real relationship. He could have shared that before he blind sided me! The need to know why and what went wrong when they appear to be happy with you one min. and gone the next is a real killer! Splain it Please!!!!

I came home from work and was told we needed to talk, found it she was moving in with her mother and had a lawyer. She said she was doing me a favor and I was better off, which is all very true. That said now she is the one holding up the divorce, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!!

I was the one left. He told me before he filed that he had thought about this for a while. He never mentioned to me he wanted a divorce. Took me by surprise even though he said I should have seen it coming. Not looking to jump into another relationship soon. Just want to be on my own for a while so I can heal from this. Maybe some day I'll be ready again but if it doesn't happen I'll just be alone.