Ummm errr..eeee...uhhh..yeah..yesturday...LOL

to me, sex after you thought you were going to be with that person forever is pointless... To be honest, it's the furthest thing from my mind right now....well other than being in another relationship.... I don't even have a need or want it anymore I'm so crushed with the events that transpired.
She was the one I loved and cared for deeply. And that feeling won't subside for a long time. I just think your teasing yourself by jumping in to fast with another person that is just looking for a "piece". But that's just me.

I know I'm not over my ex, but doing "the nasty" to me right now is more of a stress relieving tactic. As long as I'm not running around with a different guy every day I don't see anything wrong with it occasionally.

Maybe not quite 12 years Dave, but even my friends don't believe how long its been. I need to be IN love and IN a relationship. Haven't found the right person. I'm like Goldilocks. They're either too hard or too soft or too hot or too cold...*sigh*

I'm a big cuddled though:) Then I send them home. I'm no trollop Dave :)

C-U-D-D-L-E-R. Sorry.

I just have to find a woman willing and have good health ins. lol

You guys will just stick it anywhere wont you. That's what concerns me. And why does she need good health insurance? Ew

I will most certainly NOT just stick it anywhere!

I'm teasing about the righteous indignation, but not the content. I really don't. The rule I live by now is that I either need to be in a committed relationship, or fully believe it's the entryway INTO a committed relationship.

And I'm a big cuddler also, NOT a trollop.

Because she will need to use it for the retreat to rest up. lol

I am pleading the 5th on this one.

I can confess I am a DF Trollop.

I think you're voicing fears that many of us share. I was married almost 15 yrs. Before that, I dated my ex another 4 yrs. So it was almost 20 years since I'd been with anyone other than my ex. And although the sex was fairly good in the beginning, once we had our first child, it all went downhill in a big way. She was born a year after we married. So I had hardly had sex at all and no good sex whatsoever for 14 years! In the last six years, we maybe made love a dozen times, if that. Nothing at all for the final year.

Was I nervous? You bet! Self-conscious? Very! Uncertain what was expected and/or appropriate and/or normal??? Yes!!! I didn't really know what the adult dating scene was all about. It isn't like when you're young and everyone is relatively inexperienced and moving from relationship to relationship is a part of life and you pretty much know what your friends are doing and what the standards are and so on. So when I started dating again, I felt plenty of anxiety.

But let me reassure you of something. No matter how much some things have changed, most of it remains the same. I began dating a year after we filed for divorce (just before things became final). When a man kissed me for the first time, it was just as magical as ever, and just as natural. I didn't have to think about it.

And those happy hormones kick in just like they did when you were twenty, so the anxiety rapidly gives way to passion, which feels as good as ever. :-) And that sort of passion pretty much overwhelms your brain and pushes out those other bothersome thoughts that might have been lingering unwelcome there.

You won't forget. You might still be a little nervous or have an awkward moment or two. But I think as long as you are with someone who you sincerely like and who is genuinely interested in you, you'll find that everything will be wonderful.

Actually, I have to admit that it's been pretty darned awesome! Remember what it was like back when your last relationship was new and you were all about getting to know the other person, exploring one another's passions, you could hardly wait to get together the next time, etc, etc? Just think, you can have that again! Something to look forward to. Not something to worry about. :-)

Why does this happen? It does in all my relationships the sex was better dating.

And although the sex was fairly good in the beginning, once we have been together for a while, it all went downhill in a big way.

ok listening to that montage from Rue14 just made me so excited I could have cut a diamond right now.

anyway, when the ex split I actually felt better not having to have sex and deal with her little eccentricities (this touch is right, but not this...) It took all the fun out it. Better to have fun by yourself and skip the other person who might make it unpleasant.

Then again it's nice to have someone else to give pleasure too and then, after that, cuddle a little and then drive to walmart and go shopping or something..... that's what I miss. but if two people aren't on the same level sexually (or anything else for that matter, like religion) then it can cause problems.

My boyfriend and I have a very active and interesting time. But, we we first started getting physical, he had performance anxiety because his wife and he only did it 2 times in 4+ years.

After the 1st few times, he quickly got his groove back.