Oh my gosh no!!! If you love someone you don’t put anyone else first... period. If he wants to be with you then it shouldn’t matter if he leaves her quickly. And the fact that you are sitting there waiting for him to act is showing him a lot. It’s black and white... no gray area... I would tell him to sh*t or get off the pot... make a decision one way or the other ... or you will decide for him. I don’t know you but I know you deserve better than this... he is playing games

Yes, you are the "side chick". He is keeping you on the side so he will have a place to land when the "main squeeze" dumps him.

He seems like he wants both which isn’t an option. There’s a song called “Both.” I feel it related a lot to my ex. I know you really just wanted men’s perceptions, but I couldn’t help responding. You are worth more than this. Hugs.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I was not married, but I was with someone and it ended and they got someone else. So she had a new man but wanted me to fight for the relationship and just be her friend and wait till she decided what she wants to do. So here it is, no matter how much we talk, or how much she cry to me, she stays with the guy. Some people only care about themselves and what they want. They never stop to think of what you need or how what they are doing affects you.

So I think he’s playing games, and it don’t take that long to end what he’s doing. But only you can decide what your worth, and how much your willing to accept. This will not be an easy decision, but it needs to be made. We tend to want the path with the least pain and suffering, but I’m not sure that’s the right way all the time. Sometimes you have to draw the line in the sand and say that’s it. But no one can tell you when to do that, you have to decide because you have to live with it.

So I say you should do what’s best for you, cause right now he’s doing what’s best for someone else. He’s more concerned about her feelings then the woman he married.

You certainly need not feel stupid for your posting; I think these are the kinds of things that happen to people. This indeed happens to men; it happened to me. I was involved with a married woman for a number of years, and she wanted her cake and eat it too. I guess I was just in denial. Move on with your life. Unless there are children involved, I think you have to take care of yourself, whatever that means to you. It would take NO time if he really wanted to come back and try to work on your marriage. He need not worry about the other woman's feelings; unless he is a total and successful liar, she knows full well about you.

Why leave you, you are there for his back up. Its awesome if things go bad he has you waiting for him to take care of him. This is great everyone should have a backup spare part.....
Now that sounded shitty didnt it.... and that is the way he is treating you.
Respect yourself and cut him off, love yourself and see him as a user that he is.
Would you use someone?
Do you want to be with someone who uses people?
Take your life back and be happy and strong.

Um...yeah been there. The question that often popped into my head was..."if he loves me so much and wants to be with me...why is he with her and not me?

Why does he care about her feelings and wanting to find a moment to gently ease her out of the relationship?

Well...b/c she's hearing the same story you are.

What you got is a GREEDY ASS MAN. He's not only getting attention from her...he's also getting it from you.

Basically you got a dude straddling a wall with a leg to the right and one to the left.

Your job now is to get a pit bull and put it on your side of the wall, or better yet create a sign that says...NO ASS CLOWNS WANTED. LOL

Now let's say you are dating someone too. Your husband calls/texts says he wants you back. You love your husband...do you stay with that new guy or do you immediately be upfront and honest with him...and end the relationship and go be with your husband?

Now if you don't immediately end it with the new guy...what are you reasons for staying?

Sometimes all it takes is to put ourselves in the other persons shoes and put on his ASSHOLE THINKING CAP to see exactly what his intentions are.

GIRL YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, KIND, AND DECENT WOMAN. Don't be anyone's side chick. End this story and be the leading lady of your own.

Sending you light and love!

Amen to that....

There comes a time in life when you have to make strong decisions.. That time has come for him. If he says he wants to fight to save your marriage, then he is going to have to ut his battle attire on and get with the program. He must tell the "girlfriend" that he wants to make his marriage work, that he still loves his wife and he must call it quits. I realize this may be devastating to the girlfriend but, she evidently knew he was married when they got together. This is why it's not a good thing to find another "lover" until the divorce is finalized. Marriage is a statement that says "I belong to someone else" and it remains that way until and annulment or a divorce is signed. I realize the "pain" it may cause the girlfriend but, consider the pain you have endured for over a year, knowing he is with her. I hope all works out best for you.

MemphisWH
Lavender80
RiSober
New_Beginning
Old Biker
Lindsay
& last but not least yard.
Im sending virtual online hugs to you all.