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How long did you wait?

kdMac
kdMac
I know this is a very personal decision- so of course I am certain responses will cover the spectrum... however, I am just curious how long (for those of you who are dating again) you waited after your separation/divorce before dating again? And if you have children- when did you let them know you were dating? I will have been separated a year in February, my divorce was finalized last June... I have been dating a wonderful man since late August (wasn't looking really- just sort of fell into place)... and I think I would finally like to introduce my children (I have full custody of my kids).... I am aware of the risks of introducing a man into the kids' lives that if we do not work out- would represent another loss to them. This relationship feels very respectful, loving and solid- but I know there is no guaranty. That fact won't change if I wait six more months, but I don't want to rush my kids either...

I am not expecting one right answer- but thought I might gain some insight from you guys.... lord knows I could use some! Thanks!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I started dating about 2.5 years ago, almost a year after separation, and not long before we filed the divorce.

My son did not meet anyone I dated until just this past week, when he met my bf. Now, my son is older, but I still waited until I met someone I knew was a long-term relationship.
totallychaotic247
totallychaotic247
I didn't wait very long to start dating. We had been separated for 6 months technically, but had really not been "married" for a year before that. The children have not met anyone. I will not introduce them to anyone unless I know it is someone who will stick by them even if he and I don't work out. I am not in a serious relationship though. Take your time, if you feel like you are ready and he is ready to meet the kids, try something informal where you have an escape route if things go wrong. Hugs!
FrankTheGreat
FrankTheGreat
I began dating almost immediately. That was probably a mistake. My son doesn't know Daddy's dating.
patti22
patti22
I'm still not dating, but then again, I just don't have the time.

As for the kids meeting anyone I'm with. They'll Meet them almost immediately. I just won't play games or hide anything from my kids.

BUT, they won't start spending any kind of Time with him for a long long time....a year? six months? something like that...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just started 'dating' again. It's been like 10 months, whoa. I think I am ready, enough time sulking for me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Still waiting. I dont want to date til my divorce is final. Keeping everything on the up and up. Been a year and a half. *cry*
lycesq
lycesq
I'm much older and after four years, still have no interest in dating and probably won't.

But, I wish you all the happiness in the world and great experiences!

Lynne
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hmm... I guess my first "date" after I moved out of the house was around a month. XH had said four months prior that he wanted a divorce. That was something I kind of fell into with the OW's now XH. My first date with someone outside the crazy was two weeks after the divorce was final which was 11 months after XH said he wanted a divorce.

I have no children. I just know that life is a string of coincidences with some action in there someplace. If you find someone you want to go out with, do it. You never know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I did not date for almost 2 years. One where we were separated and almost one divorced. I tried it last year for a few months, then went back into hiding. It has been another year now since then, and I don't anticipate trying again. It was a good experience, but I did not find anyone interested in a real relationship, only superficial fluff.
My kids are all grown, and they thought I was crazy to date off the internet. LOL. They may have been right! Best of luck to you, Kimmee
deleted_user
deleted_user
Same as Kimmee! I didnt even attempt it for 2 years and then painfully discovered I wasnt ready and went back into hiding for a while. Shortly after that I found myself in a serious relationship but he and I decided together that the children would not meet the other for some time. We have the same views on parenting and our divorce situations were almost identical. While we are no longer together, I am going to stick by my initial plan of my child meets no one unless it is a serious relationship with a solid foundation and future.
Rman
Rman
Personally, I'm done dating. I'm not going to let myself go through the same shit again. I'm still married, but there is nothing. It's been nine months here and I still got no drive to date...
wife fucked me up...
deleted_user
deleted_user
(((((((((((Rman))))))))))))

You're not alone...... Im done and out of the game and its been 3 years. Tried it...hurt myself and others too. Actually enjoying life alone... its simple!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I also wanted to wait until the divorce was final. Two years into the separation I said "forget that".

My children are grown and while there has never been any formal or planned introductions, they have dropped by unexpected and met a couple dates. The kids are sure to give me their impressions at a later time; but, all in all - they are fine with me dating.

They like seeing mom happy :)
GeocacherNY
GeocacherNY
I didn't wait, but it was 14 months before I met anyone with any connection. I was Ready after 5 months of realizing it was OVER and the separation would lead to divorce. It was 9 months before anything exciting happened though
deleted_user
deleted_user
Does your ex-spouse thinking you are dating count as dating? So far I am supposedly dating 5 different guys. Not bad at all. Last night, he asked about my boyfriend who lives 8 hours away who has a wife and kids. I never met him but I hope he's good looking. And somehow I scored a gay boyfriend! Another guy grabbed my breast in a bar, and I told ex about how this disgusting man touched me. Now he's my boyfriend too! I didn't know I was such a naughty girl.

But in reality. I'd like to date but I'm going to wait until the ink is dry on the divorce papers before I do. It's nice to window shop but I have no interest in buying for a while.