Crying is healing, so let yourself cry. Don't try to stop it.

I wish I could cry. I well up sometimes, but I have not had that balling, sobbing, weeping moment yet. I guess I am still numb over all this. When it comes, I will be grateful for it.

It will get better. I pray you have a peaceful evening.

You just ride it out. There is not much you can do ..don't fight it. You will only delay the healing.
Journaling helps sooo much. It is truly cathartic. Counseling helps a great deal too

There is no formula for getting through the pain..I wish there was. All I know is it does get better. Hang in there and don't feel like you should be doing better than you are..everyone is in a different stage of grief and handles things differently and there is no set time limit.

TIME.

It really does take time.

All of a sudden, minutes turn into hours..into days...and then you realize you have spent more time living versus crying.

To get over pain, one must go through it.

Five years ago, I thought my world had bottomed out on me. Now? Getting divorced and dropping the drama/baggage is a HUGE sigh of relief.

Many hugs....

I think you allow yourself to feel how you feel. I also think that you need to work on your breathing and drink water and know that even tho it hurts so bad you will get thru it and recover.

As much as we'd like it to be, grief is not linear. This is a particularly difficult concept for people who think in a very linear way; e.g. scientists, mathematicians, etc. Just when you think you should be all better, it comes up and bites you in the butt!

Panther said it earlier that you shouldn't fight it, just get it out. Know that most of the time when you have moments, hours or days like that; the next one will be better. This is the type of journey that you need to view from a 1000 feet. From there you can see the progress but when you're up close and in the middle of it, you feel like you haven't gone anywhere.

Hang in there. We're all in it with you.

http://thevarmps.tumblr.com/

"Grief is not linear." That really resonates with me, and I couldn't agree more. I am 18 months from DDay, and things get better every day I put distance between me and that day. And yet, one night last week, I just broke down and sobbed.

Time. And yes, drink lots of water!

"How do you stop how do you stop how do you stop."

Okay, you definitely should never cut yourself!!!

Crying is good. It really is a good thing. I usually feel better the day after I have one of those episodes.

You cry until you fall asleep , run out of tears or it stops

If you force yourself to stop them it's all still inside so let it out

Tears are words from the heart that the mouth cannot utter. There will be times like this but, each time, it seems to get easier to deal with.

Our emotions run wild sometimes. The "shouldas, couldas and, wouldas, all seem to come around but, we must press on. It takes time to heal. Hearts are wounded and emotional wounds sometimes take longer than physical wounds do. Both must heal from the inside out, not the outside in. Hang in there and stay here with us.

I cried day and night for 6 months
Be sure you connect with friends and family
Try and think of a goal for yourself that you want from life

The hurt hurts and eventually it will start to hurt a little less

I dont know how you stop but i think once we stop holding onto so ething it will have less power over us. I think it is important to realize that our grief is stemming from many different places and not just the divorce itself and it is best to nuture all aspects of yourself that are hurting during the process. Please do not cut yourself in any way. Take care and best wishes.

OMG reading your post struck me like a slap in the face!! Its been a little over a year since me and my ex broke up and I still think about him all the time and get upset, I ve been wanting to write down things thoughts that go thru my head, put in an envelope and tell my family if anything ever happens to me send it to him so he knows exactly how I felt........of course it wouldnt matter cuz if he were to read it it d mean I'm dead lol. Break ups, broken hearts make us so crazy.......I didnt think I'd be in the same boat I was a year ago, I thought things would be better, time heals all wounds as they say...........how much time?? I cry over the fact that I still care about him still think about him still miss him..........i hate it becuz I know he's moved on he's not thinking about me, I'm not even a blip on his radar..........it sucks!!! I just wanted to share how much your post spoke to me, thank you for sharing

Sorry for your pain - let the tears flow - it will cleanse your soul. With time the load will get lighter. Trust.

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone

Time transforms how you have to deal with the wounds. Time makes it easier to wait to cry until you get in the car. Time gives you some good days where you can better turn toward positive things or enjoy a good time or distract yourself with work or church activities. Time makes it easier to get dressed in the morning and put on makeup without having to re-apply the mascara three times. But time doesnt heal it.

But we learn to move on, smile again and even fall in love again.

Hang it there - suffering is part of living - you will be fine in time. Please seek counseling. Hurting yourself will not help the situation.

Milliejay has put it so well

I very rarely cry now....I still hurt........but am coming to accept what I have no power to ever change

You will in time regain power over your life
You will start to enjoy the things that you used to

Counselling and group courses and therapy help

Thank you everyone for helping me regain some perspective. I went back and re-read my early journal entries here and yes, when I'm not being all emotional I can see and admit that I've made progress. It's just so darned impossible to have any perspective while you're in the middle of one of those crying jags.

It's true, the pain/sorrow does come from many different sources. Being in a marriage or other really serious relationship simply permeates so many aspects of your life. And when that relationship abruptly ends there are so many loose ends, so many little things, that seem to keep popping up and slapping you in the face. (For me it was even two relationships abruptly ending because the OW had also been a friend ( as well as her BF) for a number of years, so it was a double-whammy betrayal).

I'm still working through various aspects in my head and when it starts getting 'too full' I try to bleed it off in writing, just to verbalize what I'm feeling and create a sort of emotional data point for how I'm doing so I can later see my progress. I think I let myself write a little too long and got too caught up in the emotions of it. Ah well. Or maybe I just needed the catharsis of tears more than the catharsis of words, if that makes any sense.

It helps knowing that other people going through similar things still have those times when they lose it, even a year or more later. And it helps knowing that I can write about it here and get comfort and support and encouragement from other people that know only too well what it feels like, both to break down themselves and to receive that same encouragement in their turn.