I have finally decided to speak up, stand up for myself and get the ball rolling. In a few weeks I have a scheduled vacation.  Instead of celebrating another anniversary I plan on working on steps to end it. i saw another post about lawyers vs mediators.

We don't have any children. We do have a home that is not paid off yet that neither could afford with other expenses on their own.  I am thinking if he has someone to share expenses he could still stay put and I would go.

I am worried because I initially had the checking acct and credit in my name but he got added on. They always say to put a little $$ aside to get started on if you want or need to leave.  I can't do that because I feel I need to put all in toward our expenses (and credit debt)

Can some one please give me an idea what is going to happen as far as financial issues?   Most was initially in my name, now both.  he is now on disability...acct in his name, but he pays alot of household expenses with that one. His 401K is almost gone.  Mine still intact.  Both have stock dividends to cash in for retirement he has access now....mine not til i leave my job.

He has health issues so he has been more miserable than normal, but i have come to realize part of it is because he is aware this is long overdue.  I hear stories of how spouses clean out accounts, furniture when other one is gone,leaving the other screwed royally. I don't think hubby would do that, but once i do officially ask for this.....how will I be able to be under the same roof til all is squared away?   Especially if he is more angry and miserable than he is now?

I would appreciate any advice from anyone.   I am worried and clueless.

Thanks