Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am walking out the door to go to work, but had to get this in.
Just got off the phone with #$@$%^$# stbx and he is trying to convince me to get the child support and the divorce WITHOUT lawyers. Then he tells me again, in that tone of voice, "Ok, if this is what you want, I'll see you in court! I tried to do this nice, but it will just get ugly because that is what the lawyers want."
What does he think is going to happen? Should I not go thru lawyers and do it his way? I know he is afraid of something. Why else would he not want to go thru lawyers? Is he trying to get away with something, AGAIN?
This frusterates me so much! Am I just supposed to roll over and let him have his way? I know I wont see a dime from him if we dont do this thru the courts. Hell, I wont see a dime from him if we do go thru the courts!
What could he accomplish by not going thru the courts? Any ideas or suggestions would be great!
Like I said, Im off to work, but wanted to get this in so I can check it when I get home.
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!
Just got off the phone with #$@$%^$# stbx and he is trying to convince me to get the child support and the divorce WITHOUT lawyers. Then he tells me again, in that tone of voice, "Ok, if this is what you want, I'll see you in court! I tried to do this nice, but it will just get ugly because that is what the lawyers want."
What does he think is going to happen? Should I not go thru lawyers and do it his way? I know he is afraid of something. Why else would he not want to go thru lawyers? Is he trying to get away with something, AGAIN?
This frusterates me so much! Am I just supposed to roll over and let him have his way? I know I wont see a dime from him if we dont do this thru the courts. Hell, I wont see a dime from him if we do go thru the courts!
What could he accomplish by not going thru the courts? Any ideas or suggestions would be great!
Like I said, Im off to work, but wanted to get this in so I can check it when I get home.
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!
1) even if your divorce is 'amicable' and you are pretty much in agreement about division of assets, it is worth it to pay the base attorney fees just to minimize or deflect the # of conversations you have to have with your stbx.
2) Once you are deciding to divorce, no matter how hard you both are trying to be fair/amicable, YOU ARE NOT ON THE SAME TEAM. DO NOT trust your stbx to do what is fair to you. That is another reason why it is worth the attorney's fees to look out for your interests.
3) Retaining a lawyer and protecting yourself does not necessarily mean that you are going into aggressive 'divorce court' mode.
4) No matter what he SAYS he wants, shake it off; the courts will protect you (most of the time!). The fewer of these kinds of conversations you can have, the less stress you will have to deal with, the less conflict you will have to deal with. Thus, my thought #1.
GOOD LUCK!
I do have a lawyer who is wonderful. I love her. She is mean, and is looking out for my best interest.
As far as the tax thing is comcerned, my lawyer knows this about him not filing taxes, and has me covered.
Also, I dont know if this matters or not, but I was a stay at home mom for those years he didnt file. When I was working, I DID file my own taxes.
I am, after all, a stand up citizen:)
Thanks for all your help and input.
Happy day:)