Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm in a funk today. My dad left across the country until January, and he's my best friend and helps me with the kids, surprises me with a full tank of gas, etc. My ex sold his Mustang to generate a little money as he got a second ticket in two months (going 85 in a 70), and was fired from his job. The plan was to buy a cheaper car and use the difference toward bills. What's he do? He bought an "87 Porche that our children's car seats cannot fit into, and winter is here. It was leaking oil, i badgered him to check his oil, after a week he finally discovers he's 3 quarts low. It started overhheating today, and now he's using my car to haul his buddies who have all lost their license's around. I know you're all thinking why loan him your car? He's such a baffoon that he was going to kill his engine driving 45 minutes away for suspect motives. I am counting on him to take our 5 year old to school Mon and Wed, and don't have any fight left in me. I know that if his car dies it will be on my head somehow, he already said it'd be my fault for FORCING him to drive it, etc.. It's taken over 7 weeks for help from the state, he's got weeks before unemployment arrives, our car insurance is due, and I'm so stressed about money and these unanticipated expenses that I'm really going to blow a blood vessel. Merry Christmas!!
What can we do. What do you want?
He's your ex--take the keys from him, hide them if necessary, and tell him to take the bus or walk.
Does he live with you? I guess I'm a little confused about this arrangement. If he doesn't live with you, get the keys back, keep the car locked, and don't let him use it.
Hugs! I can see how this would be so stressful.
What if he breaks your car and leaves you with no transportation?
Apparently, him and friends irresponsible why are you trusting parenting duties to this guy?
You have no control over his action, what he buys, what he owes --- you do have control over your actions.
So find a responsible family or friend to drive your kid to school.
Carpool.
See if you can drop your child off earlier.
See if you can ask your employer.
(maybe ask in the "single mom" forums for advice on how the single moms deal with these kinds of situations)
Safety of the child and his/her wellbeing is your responsibility and you have full control over the choices you make. So start brainstorming ideas of How to get your 5 year old to school.
This is not the same situation. But my EX loves our dog and is taking care of it till I find a place. And he on some occasions left her in the carte of 12-14 hours, and I only know of 2 times I caught him doing it. Because he decided to go party after work. I told him the dog will either be put up for adoption to a nice family or going to your mom's. I told him this after I had already made arrangements with his mom. I didn't tolerate his actions, when they are effecting an innocent dog.
Indy
This post was a trigger for me - for his 40th birthday, my ex bought himself a Jag. It was new, but I swear the repair/maintenance bills would have funded a small country. I was so happy that my dogs pissed on every wheel - they were saying what I wanted to.
Lynne
I had to get a job to get something that wouldn't leave me stranded with the kids. I feel your pain hun. Get your car back and only concern yourself with the kids and you. Don't count on him to do anything for you....it's not going to happen.