Why, what happened at the lake?

SOmetimes I wake up in the morning and I ask "Why God, Why me?"

Then I hear this booming voice say "Nothing personal, it's just that your number came up...again."

I've had the same thoughts, Heave. Still wonder what God has in store. I will say though that since I've been dealing with this divorce, all other problems just seem so insignificant.

Maybe that was the lesson I needed to learn. I know I was only living a half life. Sometimes you gotta have the bad to appreciate the good.

Hugs to you!

You know, I think about it and things are not so bad... I'm a Vet and have seen the enemy send childeren to battle to just be nothing more than "Cannon Fotter" and wondered; "What Da Fuck did these kids do to deserve this"??? I served in the U.N as a peace keeper, delivering food and medical supplies to women and starveing childeren that are so weak from hunger that they can't even feed themselfs, {no man can hold back the tears when you see something like that} and I wonder again; "What Da Fuck did these kids do to deserve this"??? No, what I'm going thrue is not all that bad, yes it sux ass, but nothing compared to what I've seen first hand...

i believe that God has a plan for us. i know when i go to do things and i struggle with decisions, it's not the right time. i know when i feel peace with what i'm doing, i'm doing the right things. i believe that all of these things have happened for a reason, part of the plan. i also believe that they are all for great reasons, some we will know, and some we won't. perhaps there is a wonderful woman God is preparing a life for with you, perhaps your health would have affected your job and you would have had to leave anyway, this gives you an opportunity to get a different job where you'll be better needed. (thank you for serving the public and keeping the streets safe), i'm all for the positive these days. the relationship is over, that life i left 17 months is over. what i choose to do about it, is move on and be happy. take care of me. will i find someone else, i dont' know. am i worried, perhaps just a bit, but not to much, i really have found out what is most important in my life. it's being with my children and grandchild, extended family and my very good friends. and the people i have met here on ds. we are never alone.

I sometimes wonder if the big guy up above hates me. I know he doesn't but gosh my luck is pretty sucky.

I wonder. I did come up with the thought that I must be learning some good lessons in this life. Of coarse, I believe in all that. All the loss I've had in this life is a lesson I needed to learn. I'm okay with it, it's only one life..

yep

YES! I always find myself wondering how/why I did not pick up on the signs that demonstrated his character and intelligence- rather lack there of.

I must also add that thank God I did, because now I have my son.

I know exactly what you mean. The whole 20 years of my marriage I wondered what I'd done to deserve such horrible treatment, what I did for my son to have manic-depression, what I'd done to deserve the health problems I have, what I'd done to deserve such little happiness in my life.

There are still frequent days when I ask "What did I do?" I wonder when things will turn around.

Yep, I feel that way too.

"I have already paid for all my future sins. I am the King. King of Sorrow."
-Sade

I have wondered that very same thing. I think everything is going to be fine and then bam something else hits me in the face. The IRS stuff was just the latest. I do feel grateful for not having the stbx in my life any more. He is an evil man and I am blessed to not be involved with him any more.

My life as a married woman was going nowhere. It was all about him and as long as it was all about him, life was very good. But I had no dreams any longer. The breakup was a natural consequence of the obvious imbalance in my life. I am responsible for not taking are of myself. God did not do this. We did.