I'm sorry you are going through this. Break ups are so hard.

If you feel this is really impacting your daily life, therapy could really help you to get through this painful time. Contact a therapist and start sessions with one. This can really be helpful.

Also, reading break up books helped me (go on Amazon and search "break ups"). There are also free YouTube videos about how to get over a break up. And I'm sure there's some podcasts, too.

These are all things you can start right now.

Also, writing out your feelings, such as in a journal, like you just did, will help you to get past this.

I know it's so hard. But you will get over it. If he was so great, why did he just walk out? Think about the bad parts, too. A truly great guy wouldn't have said all those nice things and then just break it off and leave. Think about how maybe he wasn't so perfect after all.

I know it’s not the same but I joined a group because I can’t afford therapy right now and it seems the ones that accept a government medical card have a waiting list in my area

I can’t really talk to my family and friends about it because they do not understand why I feel the way I do. I get frustrated with myself like woman your 32 years old get a grip on yourself. I’ve tried listening to different genres of music so I don’t run into any of “our” songs I go different places try and hang out with friends and I mean I go but I can’t say I’m actually there.

Keep writing it out. Keep a journal. It helps to get the feelings out.

Try those books, YouTube videos (free), and podcasts. Those all helped me get through break ups.

Be patient with yourself. It will take some time. Keep working at it. Look around for new things that you'd like to do. There, you will meet some new friends. Do self care. Take as much time as you need. Your age has nothing to do with it. Break ups are hard at any age.

You are going to be okay. Keep busy, and take care of YOU.

Soulsplit2, I am a man dealing with the same things you are and for about the same time period. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and it's normal to be feeling this way. I had the soulmate as well and supported her everyday and her children in a home I bought to make our forever home. We were engaged to married last year but COVID put a stop to that and our new wedding date was coming up on 5/22. One day out of nowhere I got the i am not in love anymore and need to find me speech. I have been devastated ever since and can't seem to let go of hope and the what if's. Talking it out with friends and a counselor will be good. Important thing that friends in similar situations have told me is to feel it all, this will help you. There is no quick fix and I find myself wishing there was everyday.

I wrote something last night but deleted it. I’m going through something similar but my ex told me to not contact him anymore, which is killing me because he told me he would never hurt me and would always be there for me . I’ve listened to him cry about everything but when it came to me he didn’t want to listen because it wasn’t about him . Looking back at my relationshit I saw so many red flags that I ignored because I was so in love with him .

Unfortunately sometimes when we enter into a relationship we lose ourselves. We become so consumed in the relationship that we forget we are our own person . We think if we don’t have that person we will die without them but honestly you lived without them before and you will continue living without them after .

Sorry you are going through this. Reminds me when my divorce 4 years ago, I honestly thought my life was coming to an end but it didn't. Things happen for a reason. Give yourself time and this too shall pass. I know it's hard when you felt he was your forever guy. I also understand when you shared that you can't really talk to family about this. It just gets too confusing but no matter what I'm sure they will be there for you. Take this time to find yourself. Believe me it's not easy (on the same boat) but it's not impossible. Chin up!

I'm so sorry you are going thru this, I am as well. It sucks, I cry all the time. It's been almost 5 months since my husband of 34 years left. I wish I could offer you some magic potion to make all the sadness go away. I guess we both need to give it more time. That's why everyone says at least. I think I also tend to only remember the good in him, not the bad. Maybe you do the same? There were things (I'm sure) that annoyed you, or bugged you. Remember those things when you start feeling sad. I'm here if you need to chat. Just keep pouring out your feelings. It helps

It's totally ok to be upset and struggling with your breakup. That's totally normal. Don't be embarrassed. Family members might not understand, but that's ok too.

What did Dan represent to you?
He was the first person you loved.
He was the first person you wanted to marry.

Those are major milestones in a woman's life. Her first love, and first person she could see a forever with.

Dan represented these things for you. Your desire to have unconditional committed love. But unfortunately, he wasn't the one for whatever reason.

Now that he's gone - it doesn't mean that you can't still desire "the one" and "commitment."

You just have a new opening to fill with someone much better. You still will have a deep meaningful love, with someone who wants to commit to you and you to them.

Don't take this break-up as a kick to your self worth. If you do, you will start feeling less than and unworthy. You don't want to feel this way. This was Dan's loss and you are still the beautiful, loveable, and completely worthy person before you met him.

Be kind and compassion to yourself during your grieving period. But look towards the future of have even a better person fill those shoes, and give you the love, and commitment you deserve!

Sending you light and love!

I am going through something similar as well. Officially it ended in 2019 but he strung it out for another year and change all the while having another gf who I found out about later. Broke up w her to get back w me then blew me off for her in January. Been since Jan I have had no contact and my world feels over. 5 years living together and planning a house and marriage. I read break up books. Listen to positivity books. I am slowly working out. It's so hard bc im so tired all the time being this depressed. I'm seeing a therapist and even w all this I feel like total shit more often then not. The why's and whats wrong w me and why is she better all plague me. I only assume time and patience will help me see the bullet I dodged w him. And u will too. Message me if u want a shoulder. I can def use one too